


Love and Wounds and Flowers and Thorns

by Sysnix



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: BDSM, Blood Kink, Dark, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Other, Threesome - F/M/M, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-05-17
Packaged: 2018-03-16 23:25:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 25,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3506624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sysnix/pseuds/Sysnix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To try and ensure peace, Clarke and Bellamy join the Grounders on Unity Day.</p><p>(While there are a couple explicit scenes it is by far not steeped in sex. Most chapters are no worse than the show.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Bring your leaders, and I’ll bring mine,” Lincoln said to Finn’s request for truce talks.

Finn nodded. “Clarke and Bellamy.”

* * *

Bellamy and Clarke followed Finn, Lincoln and Octavia through the thick forest. Bellamy glared at the couple while Clarke glared at Finn’s back. When they reached the bridge, Lincoln, Octavia and Finn stood back as two women wearing a long coats and war paint approached.

“You must be Clarke and Bellamy,” said the one with long hair. “My name is Anya, and this is Indra.”

Clarke extended her hand, “I think we got off to a rough start, but we want to find a way to live together in peace.” When Anya didn’t take it she held it out toward Indra who scowled in disdain. Finally she dropped her hand.

“I understand. You started a war that you don't know how to end.”

“No. You attacked us.”

“We kept you alive. And you return the favor by launching missiles that burned an entire village to the ground. And you captured and tortured one of my soldiers. Those are acts of war.”

Bellamy clicked his jaw. “We see your point. How do we turn things around and live in peace?”

“Lincoln said there are more of you coming down, warriors.”

“Yes,” Clarke said. “But also farmers, doctors, engineers.”

“We can help each other but not if we're at war.” Bellamy let his gaze roam the trees and found that they weren’t alone. There were bowmen ready to shoot them, but recognizing the need to keep things calm he turned his attention back to Anya and Indra.

Indra was talking, “Why would we agree to an alliance that your people can break the moment they get here?”

Clarke was about to say something when Bellamy interrupted. “I need to talk to Clarke for a moment.”

Anya nodded, so he pulled Clarke to the edge of the bridge. “We have to offer them something. Now. Something that will make sure a peace sticks after everyone gets down here. Any ideas, Princess?”

She looked grave for a moment or two but then she brightened for a moment and then sighed. “Princess. The Ark wouldn’t attack if I were collateral and treated well. If I joined the Grounders, then our people would definitely keep the peace.”

“We may need more than you.” Bellamy hoped that she’d come up with something else, but he wasn’t optimistic.

Lincoln had been close enough to hear them talking. “If you offered half of your people up to join the tribes, they’d agree. But you two could offer yourselves up as incentive.”

“I don’t know. What do you say?” Bellamy looked at Clarke as the gears in her head turned. He didn’t trust Lincoln or the Grounders, but Clarke was better at strategy than anyone else he knew.

“What if they kill us?” The crease in her brow deepened.

“They won’t. We have more honor than that.” Lincoln said. “Especially Anya and Indra.”

“Looking to you, Princess.”

“What choice do we have? If this works, it’ll save everyone.”

They walked back out to the waiting Anya and Indra.

“What if we joined our people with yours? The ones that agree to it. Bellamy and I will be the first to join you.” Clarke glanced at Bell.

“Clarke’s mother is on the counsel, which means they’re even more likely to listen to our peace treaty.”

Indra’s nostrils flared. “And you, are you important to your people as well?”

“He’s important to the ones already here. None of them will even consider this without him. Most of us have parents, and the more kids with parents that join you, the better.”

“Clarke, Bellamy you’ll come with us, they can tell the others.” Anya pointed toward, Finn, Octavia and Lincoln.

Clarke and Bellamy gave each other a glance that said, ‘I can’t believe we’re doing this.’

* * *

The village Anya and Indra took them to consisted of rows and rows of small one room shacks made of wood and scavenged metal. They surrounded a large open area lined with benches. “Lincoln tells us that you’re a healer, Clarke, is that true?”

“I, ah, more or less.” She didn’t know how to explain that she’d still been in training when she got locked up.

“Then you can work with Nyko. He’s been our only healer for seasons.” Anya ushered her into the largest of the shacks. “Nyko meet Clarke, the Sky People’s healer. She’s joining us. I expect you to learn from each other.”

Anya left Clarke with Nyko. “Hi. Why don’t you show me the setup here?”

“Setup?” He asked.

“Where everything’s at, how you do things. Procedures. I'll need to know the ropes.”

Nyko gave her a sidelong look before motioning her over to the equipment. “These are our tools.”

They only had rudimentary tools. Nothing that looked like anything on the Ark. Some knives, a few vials of liquid in glass that looked older than time. Nothing looked sterile or clean enough to use without causing other problems.

“How do you sterilize?”

“Shine.” He gestured to a barrel of what smelled like Jasper’s moonshine. Ah, shine. Moonshine.

“How do you distill your medicines?”

Nyko pulled a blanket off a crude chemistry set.

“Evaporation would help remove a lot of the large impurities. I might be able to help you set up something more efficient. Make your medicine more effective.” That everything was made of metal or glass here heartened her. “What do you use for bandages?”

“Shine washed old cloth. The launderer should be by with more soon.”

“Okay. Let’s work on this chem set. With what’s already here, I should be able to make something that does everything we need. We just need to configure a few things differently.” She made a mental model of how the setup should look.

* * *

Anya led Bellamy across the village, Indra breaking off to deal with a quarrel. “As I understand it, you’ve got good aim with weapons.”

“You could say that.”

“The last attack by the mountain men left us short of hunters and warriors. If you prove loyal you can fight with us. But for now, you’ll help with hunting. No weapons at first but we can always use help carrying and tracking.” She stopped when they reached the edge of camp. A hunting party was preparing to go out. Men and women wearing intimidating facial cages. “Suit up.”

Bellamy saw that there were other masks and skins available. “Yes, ma’am.”

“If you do well. You and Clarke. You will find a place here regardless of what your people do. So long as you’re loyal to us from now on, you’ll have a home here.” Anya’s serious expression cracked for less than a second and she smirked.

He nodded as he put on a mask with a mouth full of fangs and spikes along the skullcap.

* * *

Murphy, wearing his own mask and skins, glared at Bellamy. If he didn’t think Anya would kill him for it, he’d end Bellamy during this hunt.

Not that he was jealous or anything but Finn got all the credit for being a great tracker while Murphy had had the highest scores in Earth Skills seen on the Ark in over sixty years. Add that to what he’d learned in the last couple weeks from the Grounders, and he turned into the village’s best tracker and hunter. So he led the hunt. This being the second for him to head up.

When Bellamy heard Murphy's voice giving orders, his head snapped up in surprise. “What’d you expect Blake? That I’d die out here? Well it’s your turn to take orders. Think you can do that?”

“Just lead, Murphy.”

Murphy knocked Bellamy down and held his machete at Blake’s throat, smirking behind his mask. “Watch the attitude.”

“Stop this, Murphy.”

“Stop this? I'm just getting started.” Murphy nicked Bell’s neck. “I demand obedience. Are you going to fall in line like a good boy?”

Pinned to the ground until he said, “Yes, sir,” Bellamy’s palatable fuming amused Murphy to no end.

John sprung to his feet. “Then let’s go. The meat ain’t going to hunt itself.”


	2. Chapter 2

After hours of tinkering and testing and adjusting and retesting, Clarke and Nyko rebuilt the chem set. When they'd finished, Clarke ran through a basic antibiotic made from the red seaweed. This impressed Nyko so much that he gave her her first braid.

“Let’s go get some wine and celebrate less death.” Nyko patted her on the shoulder and they got two steps out the door when yelling echoed from across camp.

They ran to see what the commotion was and found that the hunting party had been attacked by mountain men. There were gunshot wounds and burns from grenades. An explosion interrupted the chaos.

Without pause, Clarke applied a tourniquet to a woman’s bleeding leg, then listened to a young boy’s chest, deducing he had blunt trauma from a blast.

After spending most of the night operating on and stitching up the wounded, Nyko told her she needed to clean the wounds of the rest of the hunting party. He was going to bed, and since he was senior to her, had the authority to give such an order. Before he left he said, “Anya put you up in the house next to Indra’s. Two rows over, four houses up. The one without a tapestry, but rather a metal door.”

“Thanks.” Washing her hands for the billionth time that evening she called the three remaining hunters in.

The first was Bellamy with a cut along his leg. “Considering they used me as bait, I’m surprised all I got was this. I think I got snagged on a thorn.”

Clarke washed the scrape with some shine and wrapped it with a clean bandage. “We can’t afford to complain, Bellamy. This isn’t bad. Should be completely closed by morning.”

“Thanks, Princess.” He stood up and leaned in to whisper in her ear. “Be careful. Murphy’s here and I doubt he’ll be happy you're here.”

She dipped her chin in acknowledgement. “Keep that clean.”

The other two were half asleep as she cleaned and bandaged their scratches and brush burns.

Alone at last, she cleaned up the shack before heading to her assigned home. The moon hung low as the sky lightened with the coming dawn. It wasn’t difficult to find her new house. Every other shack had an intricate tapestry hung over the doorway while hers was metal like Nyko said. A metal cage backed with more metal. The door creaked as she opened and closed it. A mat filled most of the floor. A not empty mat. Two lumps left a cavern in the middle as far from each other as they could get without falling off the mat. While she didn’t like being flanked on both sides while she slept, Clarke’s exhaustion didn’t care. She crawled onto the mat and fell asleep without even taking her boots off.

* * *

"And what did Anya say about our accommodations?" Bellamy asked as Murphy walked back into their hut.

Murphy rolled his eyes as he plopped down next to the still sleeping Clarke. "Fuck off, Bellamy.”

“Yeah whatever. I’m getting something to eat.” Bellamy walked out with a lazy gait.

After the door closed, Murphy sighed. “I only built this place. Not that it matters to anyone.”

“Mmm, sleep time, not talk time.” Clarke’s face nuzzled into Murphy’s pillow made the words indistinct.

He yanked the pillow out from under her, fluffed it and put it under his head.

“Hey!” Her eyes narrowed. “What happened to your head?”

Touching the still wet wound along the side of his scalp, Murphy shrugged. “It’s nothing.”

She pulled herself over toward him and examined the wound. “This looks like it came from a bullet.”

“Yeah, so? One of the mountain men grazed me right before I took his head off.” He batted her hands away. “It’s fine. Leave it alone.”

“It needs cleaned.” She looked around and found nothing helpful. “I’ll be right back.” She pulled herself up and headed for the door.

With a groan, Murphy followed her. He’d rather not have her mess up the house with shine and cloths. He’d roll up the mat later. “Why bother? It’s not like you give a shit about me.”

Her sudden stop and turn staggered him to a stop. The serious look on her face shut him up. “Look. You getting hung was my fault. So in a way everything that happened afterward is partly on me too. You shoulder a lot of the blame too, but none of that matters. We’re here now. We live together. And I need this truce to hold. So that means forgetting old grudges whether I like it or not. Plus my job here is as a healer. If I don’t do my job, how long will Anya and Indra keep me?”

Hands in the air, Murphy pivoted around her. “Then let’s get this over with.”

Minutes later he was sitting on her exam table while she used the flashlight she’d never gone without into his eyes. “How did you sleep last night? Too much, too little?”

“I slept fine.”

“Any dizziness?”

“No.”

“Nausea?”

“No.”

“How’s your vision?”

“Fine.”

“Hearing?”

“What?”

“How’s your…” then at his smirk she sighed, “Cute. Get up. We need to check out your balance and coordination.” She ran him through a battery of drills and he passed. Then she asked him as many questions as she could think of to check his memory. That seemed fine too. His cooperation surprised her.

“Well I don’t think you have a concussion. But you needed stitches. Trouble is it’s been too long, so we’ll have to wait a couple days before I can do a delayed closure. So in the meantime, I'll pack this. Since we don’t have saline, you’ll have to see me every four hours, so I can make sure no infections set in.” She paused, then took off her watch and handed it to him. “You can keep track of time with this. I know every nick and scratch on this, and if there are any more when you give it back I’ll kill you. Got it?”

Taken aback, Murphy nodded. “Yeah, sure. Got it.” She cleaned, packed and dressed his wound without another word. When she stopped paying attention to him and concentrated on the chem set in the corner, he said, “Back in four hours.” Once outside, he put the watch on.

* * *

While Bellamy carried water from the well to the middle of town where a fire blazed to boil it, Murphy lugging wood came into view. A glint on his left wrist caught Bellamy’s attention. He set the water down and rushed over, grabbing Murphy’s wrist, dropping the wood he’d been carrying to the ground. “Why’re you wearing this?”

“Chill.” Murphy yanked his arm away from Bellamy. “Clarke gave it to me to keep track of time. I have to see her every so many hours to check on this.” He pointed to the bandage on his head.

“Clarke just gave you her father’s watch?”

Murphy tried to cover his surprise but failed. “I guess she takes her job more seriously than I thought. Now, I have work to do.” He bent down to pick up the wood, faltered, then fell, looking senseless.

“Get Clarke!” Bellamy looked at the crowd until a kid run off. “Hey, John. Talk to me.” He picked up Murphy’s head pushed the too long hair out of his face.

Able to focus again, John pushed Bellamy away. “I’m fine. I just got a bit dizzy.”

When Murphy tried to get up, Bell held him down. “Stay still until Clarke checks you out.”

In no condition to fight, Murphy had no choice but to sit and wait the thirty seconds for Clarke to show up with Nyko. “I’m fi-” Vomiting cut him off.

Clarke grimaced at him. “You lied didn’t you? You’ve been nauseous and dizzy the entire time.”

“And exactly what can you do down here for a concussion, Clarke?” Murphy asked. “There’s nothing here to help get me better.”

“No but you need to rest. No heavy lifting, no overexertion. You need someone keeping a close eye on you so you don’t hurt yourself.”

Murphy snorted.

“Or anyone else.” Her voice tinged with temper. “So let people take care of you.”

Nyko touched Murphy’s pale and clammy skin. “She’s right, Sky Boy. This isn’t something you can ignore.”

Anya, attracted by the crowd, had heard everything. “Murphy, you’ve proven to be an excellent hunter and warrior. You either listen to them, or leave.”

“Yes, Anya.” Murphy then looked at Clarke. “And what does the doctor order?”

“Let’s get you home, where you can get cleaned up and then rest.” She helped him up, avoiding the puke on his chest.

“I’ll get the wood.” Bellamy said as he watched Clarke and Murphy leave. “And I’ll bring some food and water when I get a chance.”

Clarke looked over her shoulder. “Thanks, Bellamy.”


	3. Chapter 3

Once in their house, Clarke ordered Murphy to take his puke covered clothes off while she got out fresh ones. It took no time to fish out something for him to wear. When she turned around, he was naked, the number of scars on his body taking her breath away. Old scars. Scars that had to have healed before he got locked up. She remembered helping her mother sew up the one on his leg. It ran from hip bone to mid calf. He’d nearly died then from blood loss. He took months to recover. He’d spent most of that time in her family’s apartment, but she spent little time with him. Mostly because he refused to speak to her.

But more than that one, there was one across his chest that saw none of the stitches it needed. Lots of smaller cuts that had healed wrong. Burn marks that ranged from fingernail sized to larger than her two hands mottled his skin. His beauty and that she found this beautiful bewildered her.

“Are you just going to stare?” Murphy snatched the clothes, but she came with them.

Her fingers ghosted over a scar on his shoulder raising gooseflesh down his arm and back. “What happened?”

“My parents died before I was ten. I got by.” He shoved his arms through the sheath like he was doing battle.

There’d been rumors about secret child fighting rings on, but she thought they were myth. Ark legends meant to scare kids into obeying their parents. Before the war there had been dog and cock fighting pits, but on the Ark they had to switch up to children. She tried to touch him again, but he flinched out of her reach. “John.”

“I don’t want your fucking pity.” He jerked farther away from her and paled.

She guided him to sit on the bench along the wall. She pressed him to lean forward. “Deep breaths, in through the nose and out the mouth.” Clarke laid his already soiled clothes at his feet. “If you need to, throw up on those.”

Murphy did as she said but still not wanting her near him, he shoved her away. This time she stayed away.

* * *

As he finished distributing the boiled water, Bellamy heard a commotion from the main path into the village. A crowd tumbled into the main square, fanning out to reveal some of his friends from the drop ship. If he had to pick the last person he expected to join the Grounders, it would’ve been Jasper, but here he was. Pale and nervous, but here with his conjoined twin Monty next to him as always.

Monty smiled and yelled to Bellamy. “Going native are we?”

Slap shaking his hand, Bellamy grinned. “Something like that. Who all’s here?”

“Um, Jasper, Raven, Finn, Octavia, and me. No one else is coming. They didn’t take us leaving too well. Words were said, stones were thrown.” Monty frowned for a moment but then smiled. “Octavia single handedly convinced us to come. Finn needs to work on his sales pitch.”

Genuine mirth bubbled out of Bellamy. “O could convince the sun to buy matches. How’d she snag you?”

“I get to be the pharmacist. She got Raven by appealing to her need for a challenge. Now she’s determined to bring the entire Grounder community into the electronic age. Finn isn’t a shock, but Jasper took some convincing. I still don’t know what your sister said to him to get him here. So what’s the sitch? How do things work around here?” Monty bounced in place, rubbernecking to see as much as he could while just standing here.

Jasper walked up with his hands in his back pockets and a slouch. “I’m loyal to Clarke. She saved my life. That’s all Octavia had to say. Where is Clarke?”

“She's taking care of Murphy, oddly enough.”

Jasper raised his hand. “Can I go back to the drop ship and risk getting stoned? Murphy? Our friendly neighborhood psychotic asshole is here, living with us again?”

Bellamy shrugged. “He was here first, but yeah, we’re stuck with him. Anya and Indra keep him in line. There’s nothing to worry about.” He hoped that was true.

* * *

Murphy had little appetite and played with the food Bellamy brought him more than he ate any of it. He’d have chugged the water, but Clarke forced him to sip at it. What a tyrant.

Clarke and Bellamy talked about the newest members of the village -- kids from the drop ship. They seemed hung up on how he’d treat them. Why they cared was beyond him. Weren’t they all just a bunch of criminals? Who cared how any of them got treated?

Bored with the conversation, he closed his eyes and visualized the one moment in his life where he felt good and it didn’t lead to anguish. He visualized the moment Anya told him he’d earned a place here. Her drenched hair whipped in the storm and rain as it cascaded down her face. She looked down at him kneeling in front of her, waiting for the verdict. For the last week he’d trained and hunted, learning that they appreciated his thirst for a good chase. He’d given them all the information he knew about the drop ship kids and their capabilities. ‘You’ve done well, Murphy. You learn fast. You’ve proven loyalty. Welcome home.’ He’d looked up at her despite rain hitting his eyes and had smiled.

Soft fingers touching his head brought him out of that place. Clarke’s gentle tending to his head wound pulled strings in his body that he hadn’t known existed. Butterflies took flight in his stomach and flew out into his veins, forcing his limbs to tremble without his permission. This unfamiliar sensation aggravated him, so as soon as Clarke finished re-bandaging his head, he said, “Took you long enough.”

Her sigh annoyed him but he rolled his eyes and asked, “So when’s the lecture?”

Bellamy shrugged. “Not gonna be one. Just a warning. You pull any of the shit you did before we booted you and I’ll make you wish you’d died when they hung you.”

“Look who’s conveniently forgotten that he’s the one that kicked the box out from under my feet.”

When Bellamy lunged and grabbed the back of his head, Murphy thought for sure the intent was to finish the job. But then Bell closed his eyes, put a hand on Murphy’s face and touched his their foreheads together. “I’m sorry. And you’re right. I shouldn’t forget.” His voice was low and cracked. In one motion, Bellamy released his grip, turned and left.

After a pregnant silence, Murphy looked at Clarke. “I need a drink now, how about you?”

“You can’t drink with a concussion. But I might be able to get something to help you sleep. Nyko told be about this root that grows around here. Not the one used for oral health but something else.”

“Fine, whatever, I need to not think right now.” He sat on the mat and leaned back as she left. He closed his eyes and asked, “Why do I have to deal with this shit?”

* * *

Anya trailed after Clarke as she walked between homes. The blonde appeared to be on a mission. Nyko mentioned how serious their new healer was about everything. How she cared for all the injured hunters that returned without playing favorites to the ones from space. It seemed there were added bonuses to including the Skaikru. Bellamy had explained further how they did not understand their flares would hit anything, let alone kill most of a village. And from all reports, her assessment was that these Sky People did not know how the Trigedakru functioned as a culture. Had no clue who the Mountain Men were. Yet they had similar skills. Expertise thought to have been lost to all but the Mountain Men. She hoped to use those to the advantage of her people.

Clarke disappeared through the fisa door and Anya followed her. “Few of your people joined us.” Anya nodded when the sitta bowed his head to her.

Without looking up from her exploration of the pharmacy, Clarke replied. “Give it a few days, perhaps a week. They’ll run out of food, the lack of leadership will cause chaos, no one else there has any medical knowledge. So hungry and hurt, they’ll come.”

“But won’t your people be down here before that?” Anya asked while Clarke pocketed something and checked on the boy with the chest wound, her touch waking him.

She swept her hand over his forehead and smiled at him, Clarke said, “You’ll be wrestling bears in no time. Get some rest.” He grinned at her before closing his eyes. Clarke turned toward the sitta. “He should be fine, but check his wound often and let me know if anything changes.” The sitta nodded and returned to his sewing.

It was impossible for Anya not to notice Clarke’s allure as she cared for her patient. She had a glow about her that drew Anya in as though Clarke was a will-o'-the-wisp.

The two women left the fisa house. Clarke looked skyward. “The first ship to come down will have to find the drop ship first. And depending on where they land that could take some time. And trust me, no one left at the drop ship is suited to lead.”

“A ship crashed last night.” Anya said as they walked toward Clarke’s house. When Clarke didn’t say anything, she added, “I sent scouts to the explosion site to find out what caused that big a blast. They told me it reminded them of your drop ship, but larger and scorched. Corpses littering the ground.”

“Ah, then it’s even more likely the others will show up here before the Ark makes it to the ground. Excuse me.” Clarke hurried into her house and Anya let her leave. They’d said Clarke’s mother was coming down on the first ship. The first ship crashed with no survivors.

* * *

As soon as Tris told Bellamy that the explosion last night had been a ship crashing, he rushed home. Clarke would need -- Clarke would be upset and need help with Murphy. When he got through the door, he found Clarke sobbing, face down in Murphy’s lap as he ran his fingers through her hair. Her hands gripped the blanket around Murphy’s thighs and her entire body shook.

Without a word, Bellamy curled behind her and rubbed her back in long strokes. Words felt out of place here.


	4. Chapter 4

A group went to see if they could retrieve anything from the crash site. They salvaged several containers of supplies and the black box. The cargo survived because of the blast-proof plastic. The same wrapping saved the bodies from charring. The passengers had been poisoned when the burning fuel tanks fumigated the cabin.

Anya watched as Clarke searched the bodies, looking for her mother. Raven and Monty had a moment of triumph when they found blueprints, but when Clarke found a group of scorched skeletons under a pile of rubble, the celebration stopped. One skeleton had screws in the ankle. Clarke’s mom had the same kind after she’d splintered her ankle falling off a ladder.

In a broken voice, Clarke said, “It’s not proof.” Then she stumbled toward the caravan. Anya offered a shoulder for Clarke to lean on, and together they climbed into the passenger wagon. She continued to lean on Anya as they rode back to Shaw. It had been a long time since Anya had let anyone this close to her, silky hair brushing her cheek as she held onto Clarke’s soft hand.

When they reached home, Clarke’s entire demeanor changed, the agony replaced by determination. “What’d we get?”

Raven and Monty unwrapped schematics for sewage systems, plumbing, electrical grids and retrieval systems. There were blueprints for efficient buildings, medical equipment, and large tools. Instructions on metal work, glass work, and making safety plastic. Recipes for everything from food to hygiene products to medicine. There were two large containers of seeds, a couple with tools, and three with medical supplies. Raven looked at Clarke, “We might get this place civilized.”

“Monty, Raven, what do you think we should work on first? I’m thinking water retrieval.” Clarke asked.

“I agree. Everything we need to do will need reliable access to water. Right, Raven?”

“Yup. We’ll save all the seeds for spring since winter’s in a couple months. So I say we work on building insulated homes at the same time. We have enough people to work on both and get them done before the ground gets too hard.” Raven stuffed her hands in her back pockets.

“Anya?” Clarke looked at the leader. “What do you think?”

She looked over the strange, shiny paper and understood none of it. But she understood their conversation. “How reliable is this?”

“Very,” Raven said. “With these plans, we can build a plumbing system and enough homes with heat for the entire village if we start now. We’ll need everyone in the village to pull it off, but it’s doable.”

Monty, getting into the spirit, added, “And we can also build a more efficient method for food storage and preparation. Not to mention making medications. I can do that with just a couple extra hands in three or four days after we have plumbing.”

Clarke saw some uncertainty on Anya’s face. “If you let us, we can help save more lives, keep our village warm over the winter. And provide clean drinking water to the whole village without having to lug the water from the well and boil it every day.”

Indra approached while Clarke spoke. “Carrying water in the winter is dangerous. And spilling any can mean losing toes. Many die from infection. Do these skaikru think they can stop that?”

“That’s exactly what we’re saying.”

“Let them try.” Indra stared at Clarke with a threat in her eyes. “But if any trigedakru suffer from it, they suffer just as much.”

“I concur.” Anya looked at the three newcomers. “The three of you will plan and Indra will work with you. She knows the villagers and what they’re capable of better than anyone. And at the end of every day, Clarke and Indra will report progress.”

* * *

No sign or signals from the Ark worried Clarke as they finished their first week of construction in the village. This was not helped by an attack on scavenging crew by drop ship kids. They killed four of Clarke’s people with head shots while they only lost one of theirs. All the wounded ended up here, including Nathan Miller. He’d taken a spear to the shoulder, and he’d never be able to use that arm again. Not that it mattered, he wouldn’t survive the week. Jus drein jus daun.

After patching everyone up and sending Miller to lockup, Clarke went home and fell onto the mat. “Anya and Indra will demand an attack on the drop ship after this.”

Murphy and Bellamy had been playing cards, but when Clarke got in, they put their cards down and exchanged grave looks. Murphy sighed. “She will expect Octavia, Jasper, Finn, Bellamy and me to fight and if even one of us shows any disloyalty, she’ll kill us all.”

“I know.” Clarke closed her eyes, remembering people she’d left behind when she joined the grounders. She also remembered the celebration when the village finished the first segment of plumbing. How they thanked the skaikru, hugging them all, cheering their names. “We don’t have a choice.”

“How’s Miller?” Bellamy asked.

“As comfortable as I could make him, but they'll execute him before too long.”

“How’re they gonna do it?” Bellamy’s cold expression fell on Murphy.

“Not going to lie. It’s not pretty. They call it death by a thousand cuts. Every villager, and that’ll include us, will cut him or cut something off him like fingers or ears. That goes on until either Anya or Indra beheads him.” Murphy’s bluntness was necessary for a switch.

“How do you know?” The desperate anger in Bellamy’s voice hit both Murphy and Clarke in the chest.

“Saw it happen once. Guy murdered the spouse of his old lover and tried to kill the person who caught him. You know her. Echo.”

Clarke pushed herself up. “Yeah, she still comes to get treated for the fingers she lost defending herself.”

“She’s leading our hunting party while Murph heals,” Bellamy said without thought. He slammed his fist against the wall. “I can’t cut Miller and I can’t stand by while he gets executed.”

“He shot Octavia, Bell. If it weren’t for lining her clothes with the reclaimed blast-proof plastic, she’d be dead. He shot her point blank in the chest. Even with the BPP she’s got a bruised sternum.” Clarke watched Bellamy’s face cave. “She didn’t want me to tell you, but there’s no way around it. Miller and the rest of them declared war today. And they consider us enemies.”

Murphy rolled his eyes at Bellamy’s put out look. “You’re thinking they betrayed us. But who betrayed who? You left them. You took a deal without discussing it with them.” When Bellamy glared at him, Murphy shrugged. “I get it. The two of you made an executive decision. One that would’ve saved all of us if they’d just followed your lead. But you have to remember that no one on that drop ship trusts anyone. After being guinea pigs and dropped here with no supplies, just instructions given to them from a distance, can you expect them to blindly follow any leader not standing right in front of them? We’re lucky the most skilled of the bunch followed you guys.”

Haggard, Bellamy said, “I need a drink.” The slamming door shook the entire structure.

“That went well.”

“Shut up, Murphy.” Clarke went after Bellamy. When she caught up to him at what passed as the local bar, she realized she had no idea what to say.

“Let him process this on his own, Clarke.”

She nodded. “You’re right, John. I just hate leaving him alone to deal with this by himself.”

“He knows where to find you, so why don’t you come get some sleep. Tomorrow will be long. Funerals around here take a lot of energy. They almost require endurance training.” Murphy took her by the wrist and guided her to their small, soon to be replaced home.

* * *

The whistle beckoning the entire village to gather made the muscle in Bellamy’s jaw twinge. Clarke shared Bell's internal conflict, and Murphy didn’t. They filed out of their home and walked silently toward the center of town. The first half of the day had been spent preparing the dead and their pyre. Bellamy hadn’t said a word to anyone.

Anya met them halfway there. “I’m giving you a choice. If you can’t handle the execution of a former compatriot, you can stay home.”

“He shot my sister. I want to do more than cut him.” Rage rippled through every word.

“You can’t cut off anything larger than fingers. He’d bleed to death before the ritual ends.”

“Understood.”

The offer extended to Clarke and Murphy with a meaningful look from their leader.

“I’m fine with this.”

“We all are,” Clarke said.

“Good.” Anya’s approving half smile made few appearances, but they meant an acceptance hard-earned. This was the first time they’d been the recipients.

“Jus drein jus daun!” Anya and Indra rallied the village when their gazes met. The entire village chanted the call for justice, including the immigrants from the sky. Finn mumbled the chant while Raven’s yelling was impassioned. Monty and Jasper tried to hide their fear. Octavia and Lincoln’s involvement seemed obligatory, neither happy nor upset to be here. Murphy was having fun. A cold calm rage motivated Bellamy. And Clarke started slow, but then she remembered why Miller and the others attacked the villagers. They didn’t want them to have better weapons. The scavenging team found the bunker where she and Bell got guns. They were gathering metal and mechanical parts when the skaikru showed up and started shooting. If it weren’t for the blast-proof plastic, the scavenging crew would have been massacred. And before the chanting ended, Clarke’s screams were fervent.

Tied to a post in the middle of the crowd, Miller stood, stoic and defiant. Anya and Indra took turns making speeches about justice and making an example of Nathan.

Indra cut first, along the inner arm, and he grunted but didn’t scream. It took over twenty cuts by as many villagers for him to scream. Nyko delivered that cut, his knowledge of anatomy giving him the edge. Only a few more injuries later, Miller begged. But by the time Jasper got to him, Nathan didn’t have the energy to speak or scream or even hold himself up. Half the villagers hailing from space apologized as they barely broke the skin: Jasper, Monty, Finn, even Octavia. Then there were the vicious expatriates: Murphy, Raven, and Bellamy, who each removed parts, fingers and an ear. Clarke was last in line and Miller rallied enough to spit a mouthful of blood in her face. Unphased, she said, “Jus drein jus duan,” as she cut his cheek.

That turned out to be civilized compared to what happened after Anya beheaded Miller. Murphy and Bellamy played anger-filled soccer with the head. Once the macabre game got called after only three kicks, they wrapped the body and topped the pyre with it. The funeral could begin.

“Yu gonplei ste odon.”

The somber veil that had fallen over the villagers as the smoke rose broke with a piercing scream.


	5. Chapter 5

The scream came from Fox. Harper now hid her friend’s face from the finial on the post outside the village’s main entrance. Nathan’s mutilated head was guilty of causing the distress.

When grounders approached, they tried to run, but not soon enough. They turned only to find Bellamy, Murphy and Clarke blocking their exit and sporting crude blades.

“Can we help you?” Murphy asked, unable to hide the sneer.

Fox crumbled into a puddle, but Harper dug in her heels and refused to show fear. “We wanted to talk. See if there wasn’t a way to just stay outta each other’s way. But I see that’s not gonna happen. So we’ll just warn you before you kill us. We got more guns and bullets. Lots of ‘em. You’ll get annihilated.”

Indra and Anya stepped out of the crowd.

“You wouldn’t be the first to try,” Indra said in her signature threatening tone.

“Perhaps we can work something out.” Anya circled the two girls, Fox still cowering, while Harper glowered. “Clarke?”

“Yes, Anya?”

“What would you suggest we do with these frightened diplomats?” Anya’s smile chilled Fox into casting her gaze down and broke some of Harper’s fortitude.

Clarke’s lack of expression didn’t help either girl. “I know what to do with them.”

* * *

The army marched toward the drop ship at dawn, led by an unprotected Fox and Harper. The rest lined their clothes and helmets with BPP, underneath to not give away their advantage. Harper’s hands were strapped to a pole, forced to hold it high, even though Nathan’s head made it top heavy and cumbersome.

Murphy and Indra marched side by side. Indra said, “You’re wrong, sky boy. This is exactly the kind of thing Anya would do.”

“I don’t know. This feels a lot like what Clarke’s mother did to her. Sent her to an almost certain death in hopes to avoid a definite death. Clarke picks up those kinds of things.”

“We’ll find out after the battle.”

“And if I’m right?”

With a wry smile, Indra said, “Then you can be my second.”

“You’re on.” Murphy noticed a familiar cluster of trees, and drummers in the rear began. “This is gonna be fun.”

Indra raised her sword. “Gonsplei!”

The roar belted out by the entire army should’ve had their enemy staining their pants. But they crashed the gates to find the place deserted.

Fox fainted from the stress, while Harper let the pole drop, Nathan’s head hitting the ground with a thud. Most of the army growled and grumbled in frustration. Indra snorted, picking up a canister and then tossing it after a glance. “Mountain men took them. They musta angered them.”

Right when Murphy opened his mouth to say something sarcastic, he saw several pieces of the Ark falling from the sky. One exploded, and he doubted survivors, but the other two landed in opposing directions, with no explosions. “Well, looks like some of the ‘rents made it to the party.” He looked to Indra. “It will take forever to go all the way back to Shaw before checking out the new crash sites. Let’s hope the mountain men don’t get to them first. Are we double-timing it home?”

With a few barked orders, Indra sent scouts to all three crash sites, had a group scavenge the drop ship camp, and then led the rest back to Shaw, prisoners in tow.

* * *

Clarke thought over a myriad scenarios as she paced in front of Harper and Fox in the old subway they used as lock up. She determined the need for more information before deciding.

“Fox. You were one of the youngest people to end up in the Sky Box, but no one knows what you did. Tell me.”

Her timid cowering act dissolved, replaced by something sardonic. “Fine. I wasn’t one of the youngest people put in the Sky Box, I was the absolute youngest. I was also the youngest to go into a Chaos Pit and come out the other end.” At Clarke’s blank expression, Fox raised an eyebrow. “I take it Murphy hasn’t talked much about Pit Life. I’m younger than him by four and half months, or he’d have been the youngest dog in any ring back then. We would have been in that Chaos Pit together but I sliced him up his leg in the fight before. Took me a while to figure out why he let me win that one.”

Clarke saw Fox knew Murphy well, but he wasn’t the point here. “You still haven’t answered me.”

“I may have survived the Chaos Pit, but the Guard broke the party up before everyone got home. A few adults got floated, and as the only remaining juvenile, I got sent to the Sky Box for thirteen counts of murder. Funny since none of us were even registered and I’m still not sure I killed anyone. A little 411 for the ignorant, all the dogs were second children born to be sold. Some bought by Pit Bosses, others by pedos. Well, there were a few like Murphy. The throw aways or orphans. Murphy was both.” Fox leaned forward, menace shining from her dark eyes. “Hey Clarke? I hear you live with Murphy. Do you really know what he’s capable of? Do you think deep down that he’s a victim? Because the Murphy I know -- is slick. He’s not only tough, but deadly and crazy smart. Tricked me into cutting him deep enough that his Pit Boss kicked him out until he could walk again. Timed just right to avoid the Chaos Pit. And cunning enough to sic all the other dogs on each other, except the little girl he thought of as family, ensuring her survival.”

The only expression on Clarke’s face was boredom. “Huh. Do you have any skills that don’t include killing people or tricking them into thinking you’re helpless?”

“Aren’t those skills enough? No? Okay, well I’m probably about as proficient as you are with medical know-how. The only reason I didn’t stitch up Murphy was because I’d been drugged and passed out before I could. Funny coincidence, huh?”

“Fisas always have a place here.” Clarke turned to Harper, who looked petrified of Fox. “What were you locked up for?”

Harper talked fast, in part due to nerves and in part from intuition telling her failing this interview meant getting floated. “My mom sold me as a sex slave to some old guy. I sorta made him die quicker. And before you ask, I’ve always been good with designs. In lock up, I got through half the reading requirements for engineering. And I’m good with my hands. Give me directions and I can make or fix anything put in front of me. I couldn’t help when we first landed because there were no instructions or blueprints. But from what I saw, you have some now, don’t you?”

Clarke tossed the keys to Harper. “Report to Raven and Monty. They could use someone like you. We’ll be out as soon as Fox and I have a little heart-to-heart.”

As soon as the chain was off her leg, Harper tossed the keys back and bolted up the stairs.

“Feeling the need for a bonding session, Clarke?”

Clarke leaned her head against the wall as she sat next to Fox. “You know that’s an interesting story, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen you talk to Murphy. For someone who saved you, I’d have thought you’d have been close. All the kids in the Sky Box knew each other, except the ones in solitary. I find it interesting that the people Murphy considered friends were Mbege, Kate and that group. You're not the type that would’ve fit in with them. So what aren’t you telling me?”

“My old Pit Boss, afraid I’d rat him out, paid off a guard to poison me. My leg was broken a souvenir from the Chaos Pit. And I dropped my tray. I picked up what food I could but the mushy stuff was unsalvageable, so I didn’t ingest enough poison to kill me. But it was enough to ruin my digestive system. I get sick a lot now. Don’t absorb the nutrients I need to keep fit. So I learned a new way to survive. People like to take care of the poor, skinny, pale girl.” She shrugged.

“But why doesn’t Murphy seem to know who you are?”

“I looked very different by the time Murphy got locked up. And when we were in the Pit together, my only name came from my owner. And it wasn’t Fox. Your mother named me when she set my leg.”

“And what was your name?”

“Skeet.”

“What was his?”

“Blen.”

“So, considering you’ve spent six years deceiving everyone around you, give me one good reason I should let you out to join the community instead of kill you right here?”

“Sorry but I have none great story about how I’ve changed since my leash turned into a cage. All I can say is that, if I fail you, do worse to me than what you did to Nathan. My survival instinct is honed enough to avoid that.”

“Deal.” Clarke leaned forward and unlocked Fox’s manacle. “Find Anya or Indra to get a housing assignment and then report to the fisa house in the morning. Nyko and I need a little help. There’s been an outbreak of chickenpox and we need all the extra hands we can get. The place is crawling with pint-sized patients.”

Fox stood up, looked toward the exit, and then back at Clarke. “Thank you. And don’t tell Murphy who I am.”

Cocking her head to the side, Clarke asked, “Why not?”

“He remembers me as a badass. I know he’d be disappointed in what I’ve become.” Fox turned and ran up the stairs. “Thanks again!”

* * *

Bellamy got back late. His scouting party found one site but weren’t able to get close to it. They had no rope or anything to scale down the cliff side to get to the wreckage. Binoculars only helped so much. He saw that there could be survivors, and he wanted to help them but had to remind himself that he swore loyalty to Shaw Village, Anya, and Indra. His only hope for saving anyone was by honoring that loyalty.

When he pushed open the door to his home, he’d expected it to be dark, but instead Clarke and Murphy were staring each other down. The way they were glaring at each other made him worry. “Trouble in paradise?”

“Hey, Bell? Looks like Clarke isn’t done accusing me of shit I didn’t do.” Murphy’s eyes never left Clarke.

“I didn’t accuse him of anything. I asked him a question.” Her eyes never left Murphy.

“What question?”

“She seems to think I’m some kind of master manipulator. That I put all the pieces in place from the moment we landed to get us all here. I’d like to know how I managed that one. Care to enlighten us, Clarke?” Murphy’s scorn for Clarke hurt Bellamy. He’d thought they’d gotten past all the animosity over the last week and a half.

“I didn’t say you manipulated everything. I said it’s amazing how you turned every horrible thing into a bonus for you. I only asked how you managed that.”

“Must’ve suddenly turned into a lucky guy.”

Interrupted by knocking, Bellamy opened the door to see Finn. “Yeah?”

“Is Clarke here?”

Bellamy looked at Clarke and interpreting her expression and stood by to let Finn inside. Finn and Bellamy had never gotten along, but the animosity boiling in Blake’s stomach now felt different than it had before. Collins didn’t just annoy him, there was more to it.

Watching Finn whisper to Clarke, and how he seemed so familiar with her, nagged at Bellamy’s gut.

“Avoiding you wasn’t an accident, Finn. I think you should go.” Clarke turned away from him.

When Finn grabbed Clarke’s arm, Bellamy grabbed his and dragged him to the door before throwing him out. “Don’t come back, Collins.”

“I can fight my own battles, Bellamy.” The normal sting was missing from her tone. Instead she sounded tired.

“Never said you couldn’t. I thought I was being a friend.”

Clarke shook her head. “The only friend I’ve ever had was Wells, and we -- we didn’t act like that with each other.”

“You look exhausted. It’s been a long couple days. Why don’t you get some sleep?”

“That’s probably a good idea.” Clarke stopped and peered around him. “Where’d Murphy go?”

Bellamy glanced about. “The facilities would be my guess.” He shrugged and then turned off the lantern. The two of them lay down, and just as Bellamy drifted off, Murphy returned, shed some layers, and settled in on the other side of Clarke. With all present, Bellamy fell off the cliff of sleep at complete ease.


	6. Chapter 6

The latest groups of scouts returned from checking out the crash sites and found no people and no supplies. Teams were sent out to retrieve as much metal as possible from the Ark remnants.

“Anya, there were no bodies,” reported Gustus.

“I see. Any tracks?”

“There were some heading toward the Mount.”

“Thank you, Gustus. I’ll deal with it.” Anya turned and searched the sky for some kind of help. With the focus on rebuilding the village they hadn’t been guarding the boundaries like they used to. Nothing good would come from this.

* * *

* * *

Clarke and Indra met with Anya every evening as instructed. The two leaders had a strange division of labor Clarke had yet to figure out. Indra showed little interest in how anything worked, more concerned in getting the job done. Anya asked wide-eyed questions about how everything functioned. It became commonplace for Anya and Clarke to talk into the early morning hours.

Tonight, Clarke took Anya to the fisa house to show her how their new building would reduce infections, be easier to clean, and allow patients to call for help with the touch of button.

“I never thought I’d live to see anything like this in a trigedakru village. We all assumed that we’d never reach this point until after the mountain fell.” Anya pointed at the plastic stick on one bed. “This will call you? No matter where you are?”

“Yeah.” Clarke showed her the band on her left wrist. “This receives a signal when a call button's pressed and vibrates letting me know that I need to get here quickly.” Clarke took off the band and handed it to Anya. “Try it.”

While pressing the button with one hand, Anya felt the band vibrate in the other. “This is wonderful. And you said it works on an invisible network in the air?”

“I don’t know why you don’t ask Raven about this stuff. She could explain it better.”

Anya’s soft smile then had to be the first time Clarke saw anything soft in her. “I like it when you explain it.”

* * *

* * *

As he ambled around the village, Bellamy saw Lincoln decked out in warrior gear. Curious, he jogged up to the man. “Hey. What’s going on?”

Lincoln didn’t answer.

Bellamy wanted to make up for having tortured Lincoln in at least some small way. “I want to help.”

Turning to face Bellamy, Lincoln, head leaning back as he sized Bellamy up, considered the boy’s mettle. “Get battle ready. I’ll meet you at the gate.”

“I’ll be there.” Bellamy raced to get his armor.

* * *

* * *

“Has anyone seen Finn?” Raven asked, joining the group around the fire. “He said he was going for a walk and not to wait up for him. That was over a week ago and it's like I’m the only one who misses him.”

“Sorry, Raven. Haven’t seen him.” Clarke popped the roasted walnut in her mouth and glanced at Murphy.

There were shaking heads and apologies all around. Defeated, Raven plopped down and grabbed a bottle of shine.

As the chatter resumed, Clarke noticed Anya heading toward the fisa house and left to catch up to her.

Once through the door, Clarke got thrown across the room and as Anya tried to pin her, she tumbled and turned things around. Clarke straddled Anya, pinning her hands above her head. “Better?”

“I’d say.” The kiss, ferocious at the start, wore down until all touches were petal soft.

* * *

* * *

Murphy set a drink in front of Bellamy as he sat at the all-purpose table in their house. “You disappear every couple days and come back looking like O got floated. Where do you go all the time?”

“Lincoln and I go through the tunnels, the Reaper tunnels, and collect the dead. Men, women, and, ah, children all waxy and bandaged in pure white gauze. We build their pyres and set them, I don’t know, free I guess.” Bell downed half the glass and coughed at the burn. “I don’t want to talk about it. I want to know why you and Clarke aren’t speaking. It’s been almost two weeks.”

“When I have something to say to her, we'll talk again.” Murphy sat across from Bell and ran a finger around the rim of his cup. “So I heard you tortured Lincoln back at the drop ship, and I can’t help wondering how you two get along now.”

“Unspoken agreements to never talk about it. And I do all the heavy lifting as penance.” With a swallow of more shine, Bellamy’s face scrunched like he’d sucked on a rotten lemon. “Can’t Jasper improve the taste of this crap?”

Murphy shrugged knowing a subject change when he heard one. “We can only hope he’s working on it.”

* * *

* * *

While on a walk deep in the woods, Clarke and Anya got attacked by a patrol from Mount Weather. There were seven Mountain Men, but they didn't know about the blast-proof plastic they wore under their clothes. Clarke drew as much fire as possible until their guns clicked empty while she took down three of them by cleaving them almost in two. Anya's fast moves and ability to take incredible pain took down the rest.

When Clarke examined the bodies, she saw the uniforms and shock batons. “These three are from the Ark.” She stared at Anya. “That means the Mountain Men didn’t kill them like we’d assumed. They joined them.”

“That’s not good news.” Anya looked toward the mountain. “How many of our new arrivals will fight against them? People that might be family?”

“Most of us have no family. I think the ones we’d have to worry about are Monty and Jasper. We can work around them easily though.” Clarke beat the dirt off her knees.

Anya nodded her agreement. “We need to get back. Let Indra know of the alliance between the Arkers and Mountain Men.”

* * *

* * *

Bellamy and Murphy shared a plate of sweet berries. “How’s Clarke handling her mother being the Chancellor of our enemies?”

“You know you could ask her yourself.”

“Nah.”

“Murphy, you two are beyond childish. Rebuilding our home to fit the grid wasn’t exactly fun while being the go between for you two. We’d have finished a day sooner if you two’d just fucking speak to each other.”

“It’s not gonna happen. Hey, what’s up with the tunnels? You haven’t gone in a while.” Murphy kicked Bell’s foot.

“The Reapers aren’t a picnic on a normal day, but they’ve gone extra crazy and we can’t get beyond the first fork to retrieve anyone. We’ll check again in a couple days. How’s life as Indra’s second?”

“I’m her main second these days. Got promoted to chief second last week. I’ve had to fight her twice, and she’s tough. I’ll beat her eventually though.”

“Yeah when she’s old and gray maybe.” Bell laughed and Murphy joined in before throwing a berry at him.

“And you think I’m the asshole.”

“Well, yeah.” Bell chuckled some more. “It’s not like you didn’t earn the title.”

“Then call me the King Asshole and bow down to my royal dickishness.”

Bellamy hit him with a pillow.

* * *

* * *

As Nyko stitched up the gunshot wound in Clarke’s shoulder, Monty sat next to her, a stubborn air about him. “Do you have a plan?”

“To contend with my delusional mother?” Clarke sighed. “No. But according to the last prisoner, Abby believes I’ve been brainwashed. She’s trying to rescue me. I, I don’t know how to combat that kind of crazy. How about you? How’re you doing with your mom in the Mount too?”

“I try not to think about it. I don’t like to worry about which I want more: for her to live or for me to.”

“Yeah, no one wants to make that kind of decision.”

Nyko grunted. “When I was young, I had to fight the village my brother lived in. We clashed. And I chose me. We all choose ourselves.” He finished tying the bandage on Clarke. “Don’t forget to drink your tea.”

“Thanks, Nyko.”

“You should thank our medicine man here. He makes good cures.” Nyko nodded at Monty.

“Thanks, Nyk.” Monty said, faking the best smile he could. “I live to serve.”

* * *

* * *

“Will we ever be able to let other people know about us?” Clarke asked as she held Anya after another sweaty evening.

Anya ran her fingers up and down Clarke’s arm. “No. The village expects certain behavior from me. And being loyal to my partner is one of them. I would be except Indra and I have been nothing more than friends for a long time now. If I fail to live up to those expectations in the eyes of my people, then my authority will mean nothing to them. They’ll see both Indra and myself as too weak to rule. There’d be infighting and...”

“I get it. And I’ll take what I can get,” Clarke said before kissing Anya. She poured every ounce of love she felt into it and tried to drink up as much as she could while she could.


	7. Chapter 7

The village had been a flurry of activity for over a month getting everything finished before winter set in. Yesterday, they’d completed construction for the season, and the first frost arrived this morning. Raven would have been well within her rights to strut around town smug and satisfied. Everything planned got finished along with a few that weren’t planned. As of now Shaw had plumbing, sewage, some electricity, and heat for all the newly constructed and insulated one-room homes. It felt like the best of both worlds to Bellamy. Some of the conveniences of the Ark, but with the freedom and purity that came with being on the Ground.

Children weren’t the only ones singing and dancing, everyone was. Anya danced with Clarke, Indra and Nyko. Murphy, in lieu of dancing, strummed the guitar Raven fixed up after a salvage team found it. Monty and Jasper beat drums, while Harper played a lute type thing along with several other villagers. Fox danced with Octavia and Lincoln. The only other person not making with some kind of merry was Raven, having passed out drunk an hour ago. She wasn’t taking Finn’s disappearance well and hadn’t smiled in weeks.

Glass of wine in hand, Bellamy just watched it all, wondering when the Sword of Damocles would fall. Clarke ran over to him with a smile lighting her face up like he’d never seen before and couldn’t help but smile himself. “Hey, Fisa!”

“Hai! Come dance with me!” She took the cup from his hand and set it aside. When he shook his head, she grabbed his wrists and pulled him into the throng. For a moment he could only stare as she spun and bounced around him, but the beat found him and lured him to dance. Letting go for the first time since he was little, Bellamy felt this buoyancy and youth, almost innocent again.

Lost in this forgotten feeling, it took Bellamy a second longer than everyone else to figure out they were under attack. Mountain men, some in radiation suits and some not, surrounded them, shooting anyone who dared run.

One of the soldiers carried a bull horn. “If you don't want to die, you'll give up Clarke Griffin.”

No one moved, not until most of the Mountain Men had intermixed with the crowd, looking for Clarke. The villagers swarmed then, killing the intruders swift and quiet. During a lull, Bellamy saw Clarke and a Mountain man having a stand-off several yards away.

Before he could get there, Anya stepped between Clarke and the man, while Murphy grabbed him from behind and held a knife to his throat. Bellamy walked up to the Mountain Man, wanting answers. “Who sent you?”

“I got my orders from President Wallace and Chancellor Griffin. They’ll retaliate. Wipe all of you out. This was the Chancellor’s last effort to rescue her daughter. She’ll write her off now, and you’re all dust.”

Bellamy punched the guy’s smug face. “Retaliate how?”

“Not telling you a thing. But I’m sure Clarke wants to get a final message to her mother.”

Stepping forward, Clarke smiled cold and indifferent. “Not really.”

“Any final words of your own?” Anya asked.

“I will be…”

Murphy slit his throat. Looking over the crowd as he wiped his blade on his sleeve, Murphy said, “We need to talk to our little double agent. See if she found out anything new.”

“We’ll meet in the hall. You all know who to collect. Now go.” Anya didn’t wait to see her orders followed, she knew they would be.

Less than ten minutes later, nine of them gathered in the building that served as dining and meeting hall. Anya started things. “Fox? What’ve you learned about their weapons and defenses?”

Fox spread out a map of Mt. Weather’s interior. “A lot.”

They spent all afternoon and evening strategizing, not stopping for meals.

The plan set, Indra stood to dismiss everyone. “Rest tonight. We honor the dead tomorrow, and go to war the day after. The shadow of the Mountain will no longer rule us.”

* * *

When the hall was all but empty, Anya’s arm circled Clarke’s waist. “You can stay here.”

“We’ll need all the fisas near the frontline, or we’ll lose more people than we have to.” Clarke leaned into Anya.

“I’ll try to spare your mother.” Anya kissed Clarke’s temple. “I can’t issue an order but I can insist I go after her myself.”

“No need.” Clarke kissed Anya, her hand grasping the hem of her shirt. “How much time do we have?”

“As long as it takes.” Pushing Clarke against the wall, Anya attacked her collarbone with her tongue. Clothes tugged away, and breathing heavy, they slid to the floor.

Fingertips fleeted over skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake. Breathy kisses along sensitive skin elicited moans. Slick fingers pumped and pushed Clarke into the clouds. As she returned to Earth, she rolled them over and kissed her way down Anya’s lythe form. Spreading for her, Anya’s body invited Clarke to open her wider, touch her, taste her, love her. Tears formed at the edge of her eyes as Clarke curled her fingers inside while her tongue overwhelmed. She’d never felt like this before meeting Clarke.

Limp puddles draped over each other, Anya sighed. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

Clarke kissed the tip of her nose. “You can tell me anything. You know that.”

“That first day. On the bridge, the peace talks Lincoln and Finn arranged.” Anya never felt this out of control of her emotions before. “We, I…”

“Are you talking about the bowmen in the trees? That if Bell and I hadn’t made the offer we did, you’d have had us both killed right there? I already know. I’m pretty sure that’s the only reason Bellamy agreed to my spur of the moment insane idea.” Clarke caressed Anya’s cheek. “Don’t go soft on me now. I need you your ruthless self at least until we beat Mt. Weather. Then you can be as soft as you want.”

Splaying her hand over Clarke’s face, Anya laughed as she pushed her away. Clarke countered by tickling until Anya begged for mercy between gasping guffaws. This ruined Anya's badass facade once and for all.

* * *

Sitting on the stoop, Murphy waited for Clarke to return home from her tryst with Anya. He was pretty sure no one else knew. Certainly not Indra, who’d kill Clarke before sharing Anya. He needed to talk to Clarke and make her understand the brand of fire she’d decided to play with.

Twirling like a child, she skipped into view, braids and pale yellow waves flying around her head vivid in the moonlight. In this moment, she seemed so joyful and Murphy wished he didn’t have to steal that. When she caught sight of him, she pulled him into her whirlwind, spinning them until they fell dizzy to the frost covered grass. Turning to face him, she said, “I missed you Murphy.”

His fingers twined with hers. “Missed you too.”

“Whatever you want to talk about, can it wait until tomorrow? Tonight’s been so good and I don’t want it spoiled just yet.” Her harsh breathing puffed warmth on his skin, her face that close to his. “Did you clean these?” she asked, touching the brush burns on that side of his face.

“Ye…” When she started kissing all his scrapes and bruises, he forgot how to talk. Straddling him, her hands pushed his shirt up and off so she could lick and kiss every injury in sight, whether fresh or old scars. When she unzipped his pants, he pushed her off.

Flushed and wide-eyed, she said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to try and force you into anything.”

“It’s not that.” He shook his head. “I, I just didn’t expect…” Pulling her to him, his hand slipped under her sweater as he bit her bottom lip. He couldn't deny needing this anymore. Flush against one another, mouths ravishing, fingernails digging into flesh, they didn't hear Bell until he touched them. In an odd synchronicity they looked up at Bellamy, then at each other. A pair of arched eyebrows later, and Murphy slithered up Bell’s front while Clarke writhed up his back. “You wanna?”

“Let’s take this inside.” Bellamy’s voice was thick with lust yet stern.

“Yes, sir.” Murphy saluted him and ambled inside, holding Clarke’s hand.

Bellamy stepped over the threshold, dropped Murphy’s thermal shirt in the corner, and closed the door with fluid movements. She bit her lip and stepped up to Bellamy. “How’d you get through today without a scratch?”

“Lucky I guess.”

“I don’t call that luck. Hey, John, don’t you think it’s a shame Bell doesn’t have any delectable wounds?”

“It is a shame. A terrible, horrifying shame.” He sidled up to the couple and stroked Bellamy’s unblemished cheek, then the shallow cuts and deep bruises on Clarke’s face. “You’ve got wonderful color. I know I do. Looks like Bell’s the odd man out.”

The slow libidinous smile crossing Bellamy’s face mirrored back at him twice over. “What are you gonna do about it?”

No sooner was the last word out of his mouth than Clarke raked her fingernails over the swell of his cheek, drawing blood. Murphy’s left cross sent Bell to the floor where Clarke dropped to her knees and began disrobing him. Joining the pile, Murphy removed any clothing he touched. He shoved his tongue into Bellamy’s wanton mouth. When Clarke wriggled between them, his fingers found her nipple and pinched and twisted. Her rasping breaths and Bellamy's bruising touch brought a flush to Murphy's cheeks. He'd wanted this for so long, but even in his wildest dreams he’d never expected the perfection of this type of violence.

Yanking Murphy’s head to the side by the hair, Bellamy assailed Clarke’s lips with nips that evolved to full on biting. Needing to do something with his own teeth, Murphy left feral bruises across Clarke’s shoulder and up her neck. As John lubricated his fingers with her natural moisture, Bellamy drove into her. Slipping a single soaked digit into her ass, Murphy smiled as she ground down, seeking more penetration. Her legs wrapped around Bell’s waist resting on Murphy’s, but her hands were busier. She dug her thumnail into Bell’s nipple with one while she clawed John’s thigh so hard she had to be hurting herself as well as him. Blake’s pain flowed into her, and then both theirs into Murphy, letting him share this lust for the savage he never could before. Needing extra lubrication, Murphy wiped the blood from Bellamy’s cheek and rubbed it over his erection just before pushing into Clarke. He’d meant to go slow, but she thrust down and they hissed together at the gratification. Her hand left his thigh and she flung her arm around his head pulling him to her neck, tearing at his hair. He assaulted one side while Bell bombarded the other. Strong hands gripped Murphy’s hips as he pulled at Bell’s waist, falling into the rhythm the other two had already set.

An idea like truth warmed Murphy. None of them had ever had anything close to the kind of trust that allowed this type of freedom. This would never be love, but freedom trumped everything. They could find happiness in this type of freedom. If they let themselves.


	8. Chapter 8

The sleeping village would wake soon. The sky lightened from spotted black to the color of faded bruises and would soon resemble skin right after a hard slap. When the sky turned powder blue, Clarke would have to return to the life that chafed like ill-fitting shoes. The edges of the window were white with frost, while inside no chill touched her. Unable to look away from the stillness, she took inventory of her delightful wounds. The tingle of phantom touches ran through her like electricity, but she couldn’t deny the tinge of sadness nagging its way to center stage. Anya. Fucking Murphy and Bellamy last night had been incredibly fun, but she loved, was in love with Anya. Being in love and involved with her was problematic for all concerned at best though. Clarke didn’t know if...

“You need to give her up, Clarke.” Murphy’s voice speaking her internal angst. “And I’m not saying that because I’m jealous. I don’t give a shit who you fall in love with or pound. But if Indra finds out, or anyone in the village… it’ll undermine the entire chain of command. The best case scenario is you’d get banished and I don’t think we have any idea what the worst could be.”

Running her finger down the window and leaving a trail, Clarke sighed and then closed her eyes. “I don’t want anyone to get hurt, but there’s no way around that, is there?”

Murphy touched the most livid bite mark on her neck, a gentle caress. “No.”

With an inhale, Clarke’s eyes found Murphy’s. “I have to get to work. Most of the dead are children. If I start now, I can save the parents from the worst.”

“I’ll help with that.” He glanced at Bellamy, sprawled across the mat, snoring. “Let’s leave him here. He’s dealt with enough death lately.”

“Oh yeah, he’s been teaming up with Lincoln on the tunnel runs. I almost forgot.”

“He won’t admit it, but it’s been rough on him.”

They got dressed, careful to wear scarves and fingerless gloves to cover the worst of the evidence from last night. 

“You do know your lips are swollen and bruised, right?” Murphy asked as he stepped out their door, her hand on the small of his back.

“So are yours. Which means everyone will know what happened last night whether we like it or not.” 

“How’s your bunny going to take that?”

“I don’t know.”

* * *

Clarke and Murphy washed the bodies and bandaged the wounds. None of the dead had head wounds, a small boon leaving their faces intact. 

The two of them worked together like they’d never had any falling out and managed to finish before the families came to wrap their dead loved ones for the pyre. 

Murphy rubbed Clarke’s back as they watched people cry and grieve over the six dead children and one mother who’d tried to shield her child. His mind wasn’t there though. Instead he relived watching his father sucked out into space. He remember how it felt like space had been trying to suck him out too. And Murphy couldn’t remember whether he cried then or not. 

He assumed that Clarke was having similar issues, remembering her father getting floated. And he was sure she did cry.

Throughout all the funeral proceedings, it became obvious that the Sky Kids didn’t exist anymore. The only people here were Trigedakru. Raven had been standing by herself until Moma wrapped her maternal arms around her, absorbing the former zero-g mechanic into the clan. Monty and Jasper mourned with the family who adopted them. Fox ran her fingers through the hair of the most devastated child, trying to comfort him. Harper and Tristan hugged each other, while Anya, Octavia and Lincoln were Indra’s silent support for the loss of her baby sister. Bellamy stood next to Murphy, Clarke, Nyko, Tris, Echo, and Gustus as the flames faded into the overcast sky.

* * *

Long after the fire got smothered, Anya paced in the hall. If the fisa house had patients, then she’d meet Clarke here. Her head popped up when the door opened, eyes narrowing when Clarke closed the door. Before Clarke could say anything, Anya punched her across the existing deep bruises on Clarke’s face. 

“Go ahead and beat the hell out of me. I deserve it.”

“I just want to know why.” Anya’s stern demand didn’t hide her vulnerability from Clarke. 

With tears and a cracked voice, Clarke replied, “I was happy. So happy with you. And Murphy was waiting for me. I needed to share that happiness before I had to give it up. We’ve known from the beginning that this couldn’t last. And when I saw Murphy sitting on the stoop, I knew he knew, and if he figured it out then it wouldn’t be long before others did too. And I knew it’d be easier for you to end things if you hated me.”

Anya turned away and leaned against one of the tables. “I could never hate you, Clarke. Now get out. I can’t see you.”

When the door clicked shut, Anya let herself fall to the floor as she refused the tears demanding to form. To force them back, she punched the concrete floor until her knuckles bled.

* * *

All three of them pretended to sleep, spooned together, Murphy behind Bellamy behind Clarke. None of them were fooled, but none of them wanted to confront the collected anxiety. In the morning they’d be fighting against the Mountain. And that mountain contained Arkers and dropship kids as well. Clarke knew that Murphy’s nerves had more to do with hoping he’d get to kill any surviving Pit Bosses, while Bellamy worried about killing Guards he’d known as a cadete. 

Feeling Bellamy’s growing erection rub against her ass, Clarke turned in his arms and wrapped her hand around it, pumping slow and deliberate. Her eyes were glued to the sight of Bellamy twisted enough to kiss Murphy. After a few awkward movements they found the perfect position. Murphy on his back while Bellamy rode his cock and Clarke rode his mouth. At least when they were like this, confusion, anxiety, and nerves had no quarter. With the three of them, all that existed was the physical. No intellect, no emotions, just how great it felt to touch and be touched. 

Morning arrived too soon.

* * *

Octavia and Bellamy marched side by side in front of their army, and no sooner had they stepped inside the Veil’s range, yellow mist approached. Other than some murmurs through the ranks, it changed nothing. They marched forward, fading from view, but unharmed as they crunched across the icy terrain. 

Octavia’s bright laughter made Bell smile. “Looks like Monty and Fox came through for us.”

“I’ll say! The Mount’s never gonna know what hit them.” Anyone that hadn’t watched her progress over the last few months would’ve thought Octavia an easy target. But Bellamy knew that she’d earned her place as Anya’s second. While her free spirit hadn’t been crushed, that spirit could just as easily turn an enemy to ash. 

Lincoln even laughed deep and low at her gumption. “Your sister’s out for blood.”

“Jus drein jus daun, right?”

“I suppose so.”

They spent the rest of the advance in silence. When the fog dissipated, it became obvious the enemy figured out it was a waste of resources. Less than five minutes later, the army arrived and they didn’t have to wait long before the signal to attack. Several explosions from different directions left the Mount crippled, and radiation would soon seep into every crevice. 

The door before them had a lot of rust issues but with blows to just the right spots, it buckled, allowing Octavia and her team entrance. Using maps made by Fox, they found the armory. Shots blanketed the hall, and the enemy shouted victory only to find they’d been overconfident when not a single grounder went down. Instead, their flashlights caught yellow reflections through the holes in the grounders’ clothes. Hand-to-hand combat with the Mountain Men turned out to be laughable, and the few Ark Guards didn’t stand a chance either. 

Bellamy grabbed a flashlight to assess the damage. Not only were there thousands of guns and boxes of ammunition and grenades, but more barrels of gunpowder than he could count. Finally the light landed on his sister holding someone on their knees in front of her, her knife at his throat. Kane didn’t bother fighting back. 

“You floated my mother and locked me up. I owe you death.” Octavia’s seething hatred radiated until she sliced his neck so deep Bellamy saw the man’s spine. Without missing a beat, O ordered her troops. “Next target!”

As they began to leave, Bellamy saw a surviving Guard pull the pin of a grenade. The grenade near this much gunpowder propelled Bellamy to throw himself on the device a split second before it exploded.

* * *

Indra led her company up to the third level, stepping over dead radiation victims, searching for their targets. They’d be heavily guarded, but Fox indicated that the guards would be easily overpowered. When she found the right door, she gave the signal for Murphy and Fox to attack.

Children screamed and in an attempt to calm them down, Fox removed her helmet. The relief on the faces of the children turned to horror as a bullet entered the back of Fox’s skull and took her face off. Murphy grabbed the gunman responsible and stabbed him in the spine, leaving him alive but a quadriplegic. He bent down and hissed in the man’s face. “That’s for Skeet.” 

Twenty minutes later, the surviving children and grounders stared at each other. The oldest girl tried to look brave while trembling. “Fox said that if anything happened to her, we should find Clarke. Are any of you Clarke?”

Holding out a hand, Indra said, “No. But we can take you to her. She’s waiting for you outside.”

Walking down the hall toward the stairwell, the group halted when the floor shook. Murphy, who’d taken lead, disappeared when the ceiling collapsed.

* * *

The first wave of wounded had already been treated for wounds that found kinks in their armor when Clarke saw Anya pulling Abby down the hill by a length of rope. She met Anya’s gaze and they smiled at each other, but then Anya screamed and fell forward. Abby stood over her, wrists bound but holding a knife dripping with blood. Not a second of hesitation before Clarke threw her spiked chakram, splitting Abby’s face in half. Ignoring her dead mother, Clarke ran toward Anya gasping the hysteria back.


	9. Chapter 9

With a scream, Octavia ran to her brother, rolling over his limp body and ripping away the shreds of clothing left. The BPP looked intact,. After she shook him, Bellamy gasped and coughed, but it was shallow and worrisome.

“We need a stretcher!” 

Octavia’s command sent the troops into immediate action. They put together the pieces they carried and created a stretcher. After loading Bellamy onto it, careful to not jar his back or neck, Octavia and her lieutenants carried him out.

* * *

Working quick on the pile of rubble, Indra’s soldiers heard voices on the other side. “Indra. Listen.” They paused to let her hear.

“Look, I don’t care if you’re the president of my ball sac, you’re not getting out of here alive. And pointing a gun at me is only going to piss me off more.” Murphy’s muffled voice, sarcastic and cocky as always, provoked an eruption of laughter that started with Indra and spread through the ranks until even the children were giggling. 

“Let’s get through this trash.” They still obeyed Indra’s command with immediacy even if she was half laughing when issuing it.

* * *

Murphy’s weapons, lost while avoiding the ceiling’s collapse, didn’t phase him and neither did the machine gun pointed at him. The man with the mangy lip holding the thing didn’t seem to know how it worked. And when his first attempts to fire resulted in nothing, Murphy’s laughter angered the guy off more. He got so enraged that he rushed John.

Snatching the president by his collar, Murphy pulled him into a headlock. “If you lick my boots, I’ll consider just maiming you instead of killing you after I maim you.”

The smell of urine and feces permeated the air.

“Ugh! You’re such a fucking useless shit.” Murphy shoved Cage to the floor and boot stomped his face until it caved.

He stared at the body as it sucked in blood instead of air, then got distracted when some bits of concrete cascaded down. “Huh. Almost forgot.”

Climbing to the top, he pulled out the rubble as the other soldiers pushed it. Twenty minutes later, they’d made a hole big enough for people to crawl through, but Murphy made them wait until he reinforced the top with a door and some rebar. “Don’t want anyone getting crushed.”

The incredulous look Indra gave him as she pulled herself through only made him grin wider.

“Smug bitch, aren’t you?” she asked when she made it through.

He laughed. “Always.”

* * *

Pressing on Anya’s lower back to stem the blood flow, Clarke tried to gauge what type of spinal injury she had on her hands. Would Anya be paralyzed, or would she regain limited function after healing? “Nyko! I need a pressure bandage. Now!” While she waited for Nyko to get the bandage, Clarke muttered in frustration. “Why couldn’t Fox have stayed out here? We need her medic skills here more than they need her in there. But sometimes Indra’s so stubborn about warriors fighting being more important than fisas keeping them alive.” She kept complaining even after getting the bandage and wrapping it around Anya’s body. “I need a back board.”

The battery that had been with Anya inside flowed around Clarke with their prisoners bound and leashed.

“Double check all the prisoners for weapons!” Clarke continued to look long enough to see them obey before turning back to Anya and getting her on the back board. 

“Abby!” Sinclair’s terrified cry pulled all gazes to the dead chancellor, and more screaming followed as the prisoners struggled to escape. 

Irritated, Clarke shouted orders to get the body and prisoners away from each other, while never stopping her care of Anya. When she’d done all she could without operating, Clarke turned her attention to restoring order. “Tie the prisoners to a log.” As that happened, Clarke met the next team coming down the mountain. “Injured?”

“Bellamy threw himself on a grenade,” Octavia said as they set down the stretcher in front of Clarke.

She did a quick appraisal of his condition. “There’s some blunt trauma, broken ribs, but he’ll be fine. Get him down the hill.”

When Indra and Murphy waltzed into view with their team, Clarke sighed. No major injuries there as far as she could see. So she called Indra over. “I need to talk to you.”

“What is it fisa?”

“Anya got stabbed in the back. There was a seam in her armor that got exploited and she’s… Indra, she may never walk again even if she lives through getting back to Shaw.” Clarke hugged Indra, who’d been shocked into silence. “You should go be with her.”

“Someone needs to lead our people,” Indra said, half choked, her eyes catching on the other teams returning--some with bodies, some with wounded, some with prisoners.

“Murphy and Octavia can take care of that. And I’ll back them up. Anya needs you right now, she’ll probably wake up any minute.” Clarke patted Indra on the back and went to look for Octavia and Murphy.

She found them easy enough. Octavia was sitting next to her brother and Murphy was entertaining the kids with outlandish stories. It worked in keeping them calm, but it meant that neither of them were in a position to lead. So Clarke sucked up her pain and pointed at Gustus. “Sound the victory. Retrieve the dead. And then prepare to go home!”

Gustus blew the horn with a long breath and the warriors bellowed back their pride in victory over the mountain. 

“Lincoln. Bring home the dead. All of them. I need to get the injured home. Can you do that?”

Octavia walked up. “I’ll do it. It’s my job as second.”

Clarke hugged Octavia. “You’re a great second. I’ll take care of Bell, don’t worry.”

“Take care of all of them.”

Murphy had gotten the kids calm enough that he could lead the main party back to Shaw. This let Clarke oversee her patients.

* * *

After sitting next to Anya as often as Clarke could, she felt like she’d failed. The entire command chain had collapsed into madness. Indra did her best to transition the village leadership to Murphy and Octavia, but the people weren’t happy about Indra and Anya’s choices for their successors. For the first time in two months, the immigrants from the dropship didn’t belong, according to the majority. In the end, Indra had to replace Murphy with Lincoln. With the marriage between Octavia and Lincoln, the populous fell in line, appeased that at least one of their leaders was a native. 

The real failure though turned out to be that Anya didn’t want to be saved. Even if she did regain some function below the waist, the law stated the need for banishment. Clarke insisted that she’d go with Anya, but Anya refused and hadn’t said a word since.

A cup of hot tea appeared in front of Clarke. Looking up to see Indra as her benefactor startled Clarke. “Thanks.” She took a sip and closed her eyes. It tasted so good and felt so nice as it warmed her from the inside out.

“I know you’re in love with her.” Indra only raised an eyebrow at Clarke’s surprise. “I’m going with her. With Fox dead, the village needs you as the head fisa. You’re the only one that knows the new medicines and techniques and I can’t let you abandon the village I’ve fought for my entire life. That Anya fought for.”

“She’s going to need me to care for…” Clarke stopped when hit with reality. “I’ll teach you everything you need to know. We have time. She’s not going to be ready to leave for a while yet.”

Indra sat down next to Clarke. “That’s the woman Anya fell in love with. The one with her head on straight.”

“Thank you, Indra.”

“You’re welcome, Clarke.”

* * *

“How’re the ribs?” Murphy asked as he set a tray down next to his roomie.

“Sore. I’ve had to learn how to suppress yawning, and sneezing, and coughing, and breathing in general.” Bellamy winced in pain as he pulled himself up to sitting. 

“Well I got all your favorites. Smoked boar, those sweet berries, and the descendents of potatoes you love so much. And some wine, but so I don’t get bitched out by Clarke, you have to finish the water too.”

“She still sitting with Anya?”

“Yeah.” Murphy sat down on the corner of the bed and rested his elbows on his knees.

“How long have you known they were a couple?”

Murphy snorted. “Since the beginning I think. Or at least close to it.”

“Clarke’s never going to love either of us like she loves Anya, will she? And you’ll never love like that ever, will you?” Bellamy asked and Murphy recognized the questions as rhetorical.

“I have to check on Kevin.” Murphy patted Bellamy on the knee and then climbed up to their new loft to see if their adopted son was sleeping. The three-year-old hadn’t slept much since moving in three days ago for the obvious reasons. And sure enough, the kid didn’t even try to fake sleep. “Hey, kiddo. What can I do to help you get some rest?”

Kevin shook his head, fine tawny hair flying. 

Sitting with his legs dangling over the edge, Murphy patted the cushion next to him. “Let me tell you something that you’re too young to learn on your own.” When Kevin settled down a good meter away, Murphy continued talking. “It’s not always easy to know who the monsters are. Sometimes they’re the ones you thought had your best interests at heart. The ones you thought loved you. And the good guys seem like the bad guys then.”

Wide brown eyes stared up at Murphy. 

“How are you at maths?”

A small smile quirked at the edges of Kevin's mouth.

Murphy grinned. “Okay, let me break it down for you. The adults in Mount Weather hurt a lot of people. They kidnapped dozens of my people every week, and then hurt them a lot. Hurt them until they died. And they’ve been doing that for over fifty years. I don’t think even you can count high enough to understand how many people died because of the adults in Mount Weather.”

A thoughtful frown twisted Kevin’s face until he asked, “And you wanted to stop people from getting hurt?”

“Isn’t that what good guys do?”

“Can I sleep with you and Bellmy?”

“Sure.” Murphy ruffled the boy’s hair. “Just stay on the other side of me. We don’t want to accidently hurt him, do we?”

“No.”

Bellamy had already settled in again, so Murphy moved the tray, then lay flush against him to allow room for both Kevin and Clarke, if she decided to come home tonight.


	10. Chapter 10

The sound of Clarke and Kevin giggling cleared the last vestiges of sleep from Bellamy’s mind. Before he opened his eyes, he caught the smell of fresh tea. Peeking through slit eyelids, he spied on his family. He wasn’t their family, but they were still his. Clarke and Kevin were sitting at the table taking turns telling parts of a story that had gotten ridiculous. And Murphy stood at the counter pouring the tea. 

“I know you’re awake, Bell.” Murphy turned to him and handed him a cup of tea. 

“Ah, hold on a sec.” Bellamy worked his way up to sitting, pain shooting through his ribs, while Murphy’s hand hovered the cup over him. “Thanks.” Taking the cup, he grinned at John, who rolled his eyes in return. 

“Nothing to thank me for. Clarke would skin me if I made tea for myself and not the whole house.”

“Damn straight,” Clarke said.

“Shh.” Kevin put a finger over his lips. “That’s a bad word.”

“You should see how he reacts when I talk.” Murphy sat behind the boy and reached over his shoulder to set a cup of tea in front him.

Kevin wrinkled his nose. “You have yucky food here. It all tastes like dirt.”

“If you’d grown up on the Ark, you’d see that as an improvement. At least this shit has flavor.” Murphy grinned, anticipating Kev’s reaction.

“SHHHH!” The kid twisted around and covered Murphy’s mouth with both hands. “You’ll make the words mad!”

Removing the boy’s hands, Murphy said, “Tell you what. I’ll stop swearing if you stop complaining about the food.”

Tapping a finger against his cheek, Kevin thought that over with the seriousness only a toddler could and then shook his head. “I don’t think I can do that. You just have to stop saying bad words.”

“Is that right?”

“Yup.” 

The three parents all laughed, Bell’s shallow and followed by grimaces. Clarke kissed Kevin’s forehead and then Murphy’s. With kiss blown in Bellamy’s direction, she put on her coat. “I have patients.”

Murphy also got up and donned his winter coat. “Gotta feed the demons.”

“Later!” Bellamy said as the door closed, shaking his head, not knowing what Murphy meant by the exit line he’d been using lately.

Kevin tugged on Bellamy’s hair. “I miss my toys.” 

“Well maybe we can make you new toys,” Bellamy said, tucking the boy into his side. “What kind of toys do you want?”

The list was long and for the most part impossible, but Bellamy noted the ones they’d be able to make for him. Dolls shouldn’t be too difficult, blocks would be a breeze, but the cars and trucks might be a bit difficult. No one here had ever seen one in person that hadn’t fallen apart or been buried. And what were legos? Cause Kevin asked for them at least half a dozen times.

* * *

Nyko was already working when Clarke entered the fisa house. “They’ve been asking for you.” He thumbed in the direction of the injured prisoners. 

“Mrs. Green, good morning. How’re you feeling?” Clarke asked as she checked the bandage on her arm.

“Clarke. I’m fine. I just want to see my son. They wouldn’t let me leave. I’ve been trying to get to him since I found out he was here.”

“He knows.” Clarke moved on to Monroe. “And how are you doing? You’ve been fading in and out on us for a while. Feeling any better?”

“A bit. That stuff that guy gave me helps with the nausea.”

“His name’s Nyko. And he developed that with Monty on a lark. You should rest. Concussions can take months to recover from.”

“Hey Clarke?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s going to happen to us?”

“I don’t know. Rest.”

Sterling wouldn’t look at her, but he couldn’t hide his pain. She looked under the dressing on his leg and found the wound dark red and puffy. “Nyko, when was the last time Sterling’s wound got cleaned?”

“An hour ago. The infection isn’t responding to anything. Suggestions?”

“It’s a staph infection and we don’t have the right antibiotics. I’ll have to surgically remove the infected tissue. Could you make sure we have the secondary anesthesia. He didn’t do well with the first. If we have enough we’ll schedule the surgery for this afternoon, when I get back.”

Nyko nodded and left to check supplies.

At the scared, wide-eyed expression Sterling wore, Clarke patted his arm. “You’ll be fine. Freaking out won’t help anything and it might even do you harm.”

Without another word, she went to check on Anya. But the bed behind the curtain was empty save for Anya’s sash. Scrunching the deep red fabric up, she stuffed it in her pouch before returning to her other patients. 

“I might be able to help with the anesthesia or some better antibiotics,” Mrs. Green said as Clarke sat at the desk and recorded the progress or lack of same of the three patients left in the fisa house. “I know I can help.”

“That’s up to Octavia, Lincoln and Monty.” 

“Where is my son? Why hasn’t he come to see me?”

“I’ve told you a hundred times, Alice, he’s working on something very important that requires all his attention.” Clarke made a few more notes, and then left the prisoners in the care of Gustus. “Call me if there’s an emergency.” 

“Yes, fisa.” He returned to whittling a new lute for his daughter-in-law, Harper.

* * *

A half-hour hike took Murphy to the cabin he’d been assigned to by O, Linc, and Clarke. 

When he walked in, Echo grunted a greeting. “Bout time. They’ve been sleeping for the last two hours but you know that never lasts.” She slapped the tranq gun Raven rigged out of an old sidearm against his chest and stormed out, tired and grouchy.

Murphy sat in the seat Echo just vacated and sighed. Monty slept with his head on his paper-covered desk. The line of cages smelled of piss and shit, but not as bad as they had before he cleaned them out yesterday. 

While he sat there, John worked on filing some metal down to become a piece for a toy car. Gave him something to do while everyone slept. He managed to get half a rear fender formed when the first of the creatures woke up and started hissing and wailing. Without pausing, he said, “Shut up, Finn. I’ll get your food in a minute.”

The place roused like every Reaper’d been injected with amphetamines, the cacophony waking Monty up and beginning the work anew.

* * *

In the middle of strapping one of the Reapers to the table for the latest treatment, Murphy heard Clarke before anyone else. “Hey, it’s our favorite fisa.”

“How’re our patients?” Clarke asked as she began to look over Monty’s most recent notes.

“No better, no worse.” Monty pointed to several notes he took since Clarke left yesterday. 

As they talked about what made all the Reapers nuts, Murphy tightened the restraints on the one they’d dubbed AJ. If she weren’t covered in her own waste, crying and ranting incoherently, he’d have called her cute. A bucket of water and an entire bar of soap later, he’d gotten her clean. 

“Thank you, Murphy.” Clarke met his eyes for a moment before examining AJ. “She’s emaciated. Has she been eating?”

“I can barely get AJ to drink anything. That’s why she’s next. If we can’t help her soon, she’s not going to make it. And you said if they weighed less than forty-five kilograms, they couldn’t be helped. She’s over that now but won’t be for long.” Monty pulled his sweater closed tighter. 

“Let’s hope this helps her.” After belting the upper arm, and tapping AJ’s inner elbow to find a good vein, Clarke swabbed with shine before injecting her with a clear liquid.

AJ appeared calm less than thirty seconds later, and for a minute they thought they might have made a breakthrough as she asked, “Where am I?” But then she faded out, eyes glazed over and breath stopped. The three of them tried everything to bring her back, including defibrillation, but in the end, they lost her.

Clarke slumped before rebounding. “Let’s do a full work up on her blood. I’ll do the autopsy. She was lucid there for a minute, we might be on the right track.”

While Monty set up the vials for the blood draws, Murphy began to prep for the autopsy. “I have no idea why you think you can save them. Neither of you know what you’re doing.”

She slapped him with enough force to split his lip. “I’ve learned to perform surgeries far outside my training and saved a half dozen lives doing what I shouldn’t be able to do. Monty’s created over fifteen medications and before landing, the most he’d ever done was dry out marijuana to smoke. And I’m not going to just kill these people when there might be a chance, any chance at saving some of them! Now get back to work!”

As soon as she shut her mouth, Murphy backhanded her. “Don’t you dare talk to me like that. You act like I’m heartless. But look at them! They’re in cages, rolling around in their own filth. All they do is cry and wail and rant and rave outta their fucking minds. Without the cages, they attack and eat each other. That’s not living and even if you do find a cure, they’ll never be okay. Not after that!” He deflated when he saw how he’d unnerved her. “Look, you went over every bit of information we could get from the Mount. You scoured through everything even remotely medical and found nothing useful. All we have to show for all the testing and experiments are twenty-two graves. I’m not the monster here. So save your sanctimonious shit for someone else.”

As Murphy stormed out, Monty watched as Clarke straightened herself, wiped the blood from her cheek, and walked out the other door. He’d seen this blow up coming for days. In case Clarke hadn’t changed her mind, Monty drew several vials of AJ’s blood. “Maybe we’ll actually learn something.”

* * *

Within five minutes of being outside, Murphy found Clarke, sitting on the back bench. “I know you’re doing all this out of some strange loyalty to Raven and Finn, but he stopped being Finn the day they poisoned him.”

“How am I supposed to explain to Raven that I gave up when she never has? She’s been through hell since she got here, but she never stops. Raven built half the infrastructure we have now. And still managed to make little things here and there for everyone. Instruments for anyone that wanted them and some toys for the kids. How can I go to her and tell her that Finn’s sick -- and I can’t make him better? If it weren’t for her we’d have lost against the Mountain. I can’t tell her I gave up.” She stretched her back with her hands pushing on her knees. Her, I don’t know what I’m doing posture.

“We don’t have to tell her he was alive when we found him. It wouldn’t even be a lie. So let’s give her the closure she needs. And give these people the peace they need.” Murphy slumped back not knowing what else to say or do either.

“I -- I --” Her gaze zeroed in on the blood on his lip, and touched it with the tip of her tongue. Drawing his lip into her mouth, she looked up to see him watching her. They never lost eye contact as she nipped and sucked his busted lip. Finding the escape she needed, Clarke straddled Murphy, drew her head back and watched the vapors of his breath become larger and erratic as she rubbed herself against him. His head snapped back, neck strained, face red as he filled his pants with cum. As soon as he caught his breath, he turned her so he could reach down her pants and pinch, twist and rub her clit until she’d reached her own orgasm. 

A minute after that, she put herself back together, and stood up. “We need to get back in there.”

“What are you gonna do?”

“I’ll see what I think when I look at them again.”


	11. Chapter 11

After Bellamy gave up trying to teach Kevin any of the board games they’d made pieces for, he settled for just playing by whatever rules the tot dreamed up using all the pieces for Go, checkers, and chess. He moved a piece mimicking the move Kevin just made.

“You doin’ it wrong. You can’t do that!. You lose. Let’s play hide and seek!”

“Sure. You go hide, and I’ll find you when I get to zero.”

“K!” Kevin jumped up and ran to the corner of the room and hid under Murphy’s old coat, his legs sticking out.

Exaggerating every syllable, Bellamy counted down from a hundred. He’d gotten down to sixty-three when the door opened. Jasper’s pale skin and wide eyes worried Bell. “What’s wrong?”

“Monty’s missing.” 

“Start from the beginning. When was the last time you saw him?”

Jasper started pacing. “Four days ago, but that’s not the beginning. Right after the Mt. Weather battle, Monty started acting strange. He’d disappear for huge chunks of the day. Leave before dawn and not come back until long after dark. He said he had a project, but he wouldn’t talk to me about it. Then he didn’t come home one night. A few days later he didn’t come home for two and half days. But this is four days. I think he’s in trouble.”

“What direction does he go?”

“Always toward that freaky half-dead tree.”

“So west?”

“How the hell should I know which way’s west?”

“Half dead tree. Got it. Take Kevin to Moma, and meet me at that tree.” Bellamy got to his feet, hand covering his chest where his ribs hurt the most. When Jasper calling Kevin didn’t work, Bell pointed at the kid’s hiding spot. 

“Ah, hey, li’l guy. Wanna meet the nicest person in the entire village?” Jasper asked, wrapping the kid in the coat he’d been hiding under.

“Do they play hide n seek?”

“You might get her to.”

“Okay then.”

* * *

When Bellamy reached the tree, he saw Jasper wasn’t alone. “Raven. Coming on the man hunt?”

“Well, yeah. Octavia and Lincoln said not to, so you know something’s going on.”

“Alright. Let’s see what we can find. Fan out and see if you see any signs of disturbed snow.”

“We saw some maybe tracks over here, but they disappeared not far in, too much snow.” Jasper led Bell to their discovery. 

When Bellamy tried to crouch down to get a closer look, he almost blacked out from the pain. “We should get Echo. She’s a better tracker and I’m working with a handicap here.”

“Couldn’t find her,” Raven said.

“Tris?”

Raven shook her head. “Gone. Word has it she left with Indra and Anya in the middle of the night.”

“I haven’t found anyone else willing to help me. It’s like they don’t care if -- Monty’s...” Jasper started hyperventilating and Raven rubbed his back when he doubled over trying to get air. 

“Breathe man.”

“Gimme a minute. Let me find the trail.” Taking a quick succession of shallow breaths, Bellamy centered himself and visualized the task, blocking out the pain. 

He found a lot of tracks, four different shoe sizes. The trail got thin in some places as people avoided trees in different directions, and harder to follow with the fresh snowfall. But less than an hour later the three of them were standing several yards away from what looked like an old-fashioned log cabin.

“What is this place?” Jasper asked.

Raven pointed high up into the trees. “Solar panels.”

“What’s that noise?” Bellamy asked. As they got closer the noise got clearer and painful. “It’s -- people.”

“Oh I don’t know. I’ve heard that some animals sound like people. Maybe they’re keeping those kinds of animals?” Jasper swallowed, not even fooling himself.

“Let’s look through the window.” Raven said. “Find out what’s going on here.”

Bellamy peered over the edge of the windowsill first. He should’ve stopped Raven from looking but got too distracted with disbelief. When Raven saw Finn, she screamed and ran through the door, ready to kill everyone to protect Finn. Before she could hit anyone, Murphy grabbed her by the waist and pinned her to the wall. She never stopped screaming her demand for answers and beat the hell out of Murphy trying to get to Finn..

“Tranq her, dammit!”

Clarke had the gun already and pointed it, but Bellamy stood between her and her target. “What the hell is going on here?”

Raven’s screaming became incoherent as she fought to get out of Murphy’s grip.

“Shut the fuck up, Raven!” Murphy interrupted her threatening tirade. “We’ll explain. Just shut up so we fucking can!”

Her stare threatened death if she didn’t like what she heard, but Raven stopped yelling and struggling. “Fine.” So Murphy let her go and dropped into a chair, wiping at the fresh claw marks on his face.

“Monty?” Jasper stepped closer to his lifelong friend. “Who’s blood is that?”

For the first time, Bellamy noticed that Clarke, Murphy and Monty all had blood stains streaking their clothes. “Answer the question.”

When Monty couldn’t form words, Clarke spoke up. “They’re Reapers and they’re sick. We’ve been trying to save them.”

“Finn?” Raven’s face contorted as she tried to comprehend everything. “What’s wrong with him?” She stumbled over to his cage and dropped to her knees. When she went to lace her fingers through the grate, Clarke jumped forward and grabbed her wrists.

“He’s dangerous. You can’t give him any opportunity to hurt you. Because he will.”

Watery eyes pleaded with Clarke. “Can you help him?”

Clarke and Murphy conversed via minimal expressions that only Bellamy caught.

“We’ll do what we can.”

“So, what is wrong with them?” Bellamy asked. 

Shamed by Jasper’s confusion, Monty sighed before speaking up. “As far as we can tell, they’ve all been poisoned. We think it’s a neurotoxin not in our records. Damages the brain, creating severe psychosis. Hallucinations, delusions, increased aggression, strips away most of the feel-good chemicals and leaves them depressed, detached from reality, and very dangerous.”

Murphy waved at Bellamy. “And that red stuff you told us about, kept them even enough to follow orders. Obey orders to get your next dose, or spend the rest of your life violent and out of your gourd when you don’t.”

Worn out from just hearing this, Bellamy pinched the bridge of his nose. “None of them have had a dose in months. But why so long?”

“The Mountain Men no longer needed to kidnap anyone. They had volunteers for not just blood transfusions but marrow transplants. That’s why the Mt. Weather kids didn’t get sick or die when we irradiated them. Fox managed to convince my mother to inoculate them first.”

“And the Reapers were left to suffer.” Monty kept eye contact with Jasper, hoping for forgiveness.

“But without the ability to scan their brains, we’ll probably never be able to help them. We just exhausted the last of our best guesses.” Clarke glanced at the three bodies, wrapped, waiting to be buried, and piled against the wall.

“You have to do something for him.” Raven’s tears could be heard even over the wails of the caged Reapers. 

Monty stopped Clarke from saying anything and knelt next to Raven. He put his hand on hers. “We can end his suffering.”

Drool sprayed off Finn’s lips as he threw himself against the front of the cage. This startled Raven, Bellamy and Jasper, but the other three weren’t phased. The impact left red marks across Finn’s face. “He’s hurting himself? Is that why his arms are covered in bandages and his face is cut and bruised? He’s doing this to himself?”

“I’m so sorry, Raven.”

* * *

Dawn saw the end of Clarke’s day after she finished the surgery on Sterling’s leg. From what she could tell, he’d fully recover, but she’d never even seen that surgery before, making it more than likely wishful thinking.

When she dragged herself home, she ran into Murphy returning from burial duty. Holding the door open for him, she cringed at the broken and bleeding blisters on his hands. She shed their clothes, showered them both, slothed some cream on his hands before wrapping them, and collapsed into bed just as the rest of the village started their day.


	12. Chapter 12

“Has she said anything yet?” Bellamy asked after returning from his patrol duties. 

“No.” Murphy sat at the table with his bandaged hands in his lap. Clarke spooned some blood portage into Kevin’s mouth, the kid making a face as he swallowed. “But she’s hand fed me and Kevin twice, changed my bandages twice, washed the clothes, dishes, and, well, the house -- twice. Oh, and thrown out all her art supplies, but she could only do that once.”

“Don’t be a dick.” Bellamy smacked Murphy in the temple and then knelt next to Clarke and brushed her hair behind her shoulder. “Hey. What’s going on with you? Let us help you.”

She dropped the bowl, dark red mush spilling over the table, before bolting up to the loft. 

Murphy’s gaze cast down as his eyebrows rose. “I see we’re still trying to force her to get better on your terms and running her off.” 

“Is Clarke Mommy gonna be okay?” Kevin asked, tearing up and sniffling.

Bellamy pulled Kevin into his lap and hugged him. “Of course li’l man. She’s just had a really hard time lately.”

Scoffing, Murphy headed up to the loft. When he lay beside her, she turned to stare at the wall. He exhaled. “I get it, you know. Well, sorta. You gave up everything to try and help the Ark and got locked up, then thrown down here. You gained a bit after getting here, but had to give that up to try and save everyone on the dropship. You sacrificed Miller to keep peace. I think you even spared him the worst. You didn’t tell him that he’d attacked the grounders for no reason. That they weren’t after the guns, but after the other junk. You risked Fox and Harper like your mom risked you. And then you ended up losing Fox anyway. You killed your mother to save Anya, and you lost her anyway. And you tried so hard to save Finn. Experimenting on the other Reapers, hurting and killing them to try and save him, but failed. You’ve given up so much and it feels like none of it worked out.

“But you need to see what you have accomplished. Shaw’s the healthiest village around. We have clean water running into our homes and a proper sewage system. Every home has enough reliable heat so that no one will die of exposure in their sleep. You’ve honed your medical abilities, and got Monty to do the same, so now people can get treated for things and live when they would have died before. You didn’t let anyone kill Fo-- Harper or Monty’s mom, or Sterling or Monroe or any prisoner that survived that didn’t try shit after capture. They all have a place here thanks to you. You saved the Mt. Weather kids. Kevin adores you. I think Bellamy’s smitten with you, which is why he’s being an ass right now. And hey. You got me. I won’t leave you until they pry my cold dead hands away. You’re too much fun.

“And if you need quiet, you can have it. I’ll just shut up and be here if you need me. If you want to ignore me, go ahead.” When she didn’t move or say anything, he settled in and studied the slatted ceiling as he listened to Bellamy tell Kevin a story about a girl running from a witch. She turned herself into a pond. The witch drank every drop of that pond, fell sick with an incurable illness, and then died when the girl cut the witch in half from the inside The girl, alive and well, returned to her village and they honored her as a hero. Because heroes are the ones that beat their demons, even after the darkness swallowed them whole. 

“Mommy can do that, right, Papa Bell?”

“Of course she can. Mommy can do anything.”

‘You’re not helping, Bellamy,’ Murphy thought as he heard Clarke's breathing grew harsh.

* * *

The sound of Clarke’s voice woke Bellamy up. He lay there listening to her and Murphy talk in hushed tones.

“I’m not upset about all I’ve lost. I’m upset, I guess, that I’m not upset about it. And the more I look at my life the more I believe that I’ve only ever gone through the motions. That I’ve only ever put on the play of what people expected Clarke Griffin to act like. Act’s the perfect word, since it all feels like an act. An act I fooled myself with on some superficial level.”

“But deep down you always knew, right?” Murphy asked.

“Yeah. And what I don’t understand right now is why I’d play out the emotions even with no one around or around people that wouldn’t care.”

“That’s easy to answer. We all have a deep need to fit in. In my experience the more different the person, the more they want to fit in. Or at least appear like they fit in.”

Bellamy fumed in silence as he listened to this conversation. How could Clarke deny being upset? Her behavior had been getting more and more moody lately. With every loss, she got more despondent. And Murphy filling her head with bullshit about her emotions only being a mask so she could fit in wouldn’t help her. 

With Kevin sleeping next to him, Bellamy decided not to say anything now, but rather wait until he could talk to Clarke alone. That way Murphy wouldn’t be there to contradict him, and Kevin wouldn’t have to witness it.

“But I know what it’s like to be happy and angry.”

John’s reply sounded muffled. “Just not sad or attached.”

“No, not sad. Not attached.” Clarke yawned and the loft creaked. 

“Night, Clarke.”

“Night, John.”

Their light breathing signified sleep within a minute, but Bellamy couldn’t close his eyes for the rest of the night.

* * *

For breakfast, Bellamy did his best to serve Kevin something he’d like. Poor kid got his entire world yanked out from under him, and they had little to offer him in return. Bellamy made him a rag doll, but it didn’t seem enough. He just wanted to do everything he could for the kid. Octavia had outgrown her need for him, neither Clarke nor Murphy seemed to have any real use for him, he didn’t lead anyone anymore, but he had this tiny little person that for some reason hero-worshipped him. 

In the insomnia of the last few days, he studied recipes and tried to find something to make out of the ingredients they had on hand. The best he could do was a crunchy salad with dried wild onions, dried sow thistles, dried chickweed, dried cress, some nuts and laurelcherries. He hoped that adding the cherries would help since Kevin didn’t like anything they’d fed him except berries. The only ones they could still get were the laurelcherries, since they still hung from trees, edible only when they started to shrivel. He even managed to get some mint to flavor the water. Not enough to put in the salad too, but who wanted to eat and drink the same thing?

Bellamy had just set the water down, when Kevin said, “Can I have spots on my face one day like you do?”

“They’re freckles. I got some of them from the sun lamps on the Ark but they exploded since getting here. So you may end up with some too. More likely when the weather gets warm, so don’t expect it overnight, okay buddy? And if you don’t get any, that’s okay too. You’re a good looking guy just the way you are.” Bellamy’s smile was wide and the edges around his eyes crinkled.

“Neat.” Sliding onto the bench at the table, Kevin picked a cherry out of the salad and ate it. “These are okay but I like the red red ones more.”

“Hey, you might want to eat the stuff you probably won’t like first. That way the last flavor in your mouth is the stuff you like. And you cleaned your teeth already, right?”

“Yes, Papa Bell.” Kevin stabbed his fork into the green stuff and munched. “And how’d you get so smart?”

“I already made all the mistakes and figured out what not to do. And now you get to avoid a lot of the bad stuff, so long as you keep listening to me.” 

Kevin had stopped paying attention. Seemed Bellamy found a mixture of food that the kid liked. So he began sanding the edges of the blocks he’d cut into rough cubes.

“Papa Bell, you’re the best! You can even make yucky stuff taste good!” Kevin paused his breakfast and ran around the table and hugged Bell and kissed his cheek. “I love you!”

Too shocked to move for a second, Bellamy felt happier than he had in way too long. Wrapping his arms around the toddler, he kissed the top of the boy’s head, and then said, “I love you too. -- But you still have to finish your breakfast.”

“K.”

“Hmm, family.” Bellamy went back to sanding with a smile on his face, the kind of smile he knew would pop up every time he thought about this moment for the rest of his life.

* * *

Clarke decided to return to her duties the next day. Monty leaned against the wall of the fisa house, looking toward the door as if uncertain if he should enter or not. 

“Your mother’s asked about you every day since she got here, you know.” Clarke leaned against the wall next to him. “You didn’t even stop by to see her before we started the Reaper project.”

“She always expected me to get into agriculture and botany. I think I got into computers and engineering just to spite her. Turns out that I’m fair enough at all those things to do more than she ever did. Being decent at agro, and botany, and engineering made me able to see structures in organic compounds that aren’t even in the records we recovered from the wreckage.” Monty sounded far off, but Clarke didn’t understand his problem and her silence urged him to explain. “I’m afraid that she’s going to be upset that I surpassed her. That I’ll have to assign her as my assistant and that’ll humiliate her.”

“Monty, she loves you and I think she’d be proud of what you’ve accomplished here.” Clarke put her hand on his shoulder.

“No offence, Clarke, but you haven’t been able to predict much.”

“You’re right.” She pushed herself off the wall. “So either come in or go home. There’s no point in just standing out here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> special thanks to my new beta --- ship-picky


	13. Chapter 13

Octavia and Lincoln had called Bellamy in to confer with him about something and when he arrived Clarke and Murphy were already there, sitting close together and laughing about something unknown to everyone else in the room. Monty and his mother, fresh out of the fisa house, looked happy. It had been so long since Monty had been truly happy that Bellamy felt a sense of relief. Raven sat alone, the force that she had once been, gone. Since Finn's disappearance, she was no longer living, just surviving. Lincoln and O sat close together, going over a real, honest to god scroll, their faces serious and stern. 

On a closer inspection he could see that Monty’s happiness wasn’t complete. Sadness tinged the edges of his eyes and his smile didn’t come as easy as it once had. His mother was trying so hard to be nurturing and loving, and that costume didn’t fit her. Alice had never been warm in her life and she needed practice if she wanted to change that. And no one here could afford to be soft, so this would be temporary. Bell figured that Monty knew that too. 

Clarke felt the tension Raven radiated all around her, and Clarke’s mirth now seemed forced as her eyes flicked in Raven’s direction with every laugh or smile, cutting each one short. Murphy either didn’t notice or didn’t care.

A utilitarianism bred from fear underscored every motion Octavia and Lincoln made. Bellamy sensed this meeting would be more serious than most. 

He sat on the other side of Clarke with a nod to everyone as they looked at him. “So what’s going on this time? Did part of the infrastructure fail?”

“No. There’s a gathering of the twelve tribes. Lincoln and I are both expected to go. They want assurances that we aren’t going to destroy them or take them over since we took the Mountain down. But we’ll need to take enough gonakru with us to make sure they don’t kill us and take over Shaw.” Octavia’s jaw twitched.

Murphy sneered. “That’ll leave the actual village as an easy target. You tryna get us all killed?”

“And what would you have us do? Huh, Murphy?”

Clarke hushed him before he could speak and said after a short pause. “We fortify, and demand the tribe leaders to meet at the cabin. It’s close enough that we wouldn’t be vulnerable, but far enough to for them to be comfortable.”

Lincoln clenched his teeth and shook his head. “Making a demand like that would start a war, and all the other tribes would attack full force. We don’t want them to feel threatened with the eleven tribes united the way they are right now. A tribe strong enough to topple the Mountain Men strikes fear in them. Fear turns too easily into hate. We need to be honorable and humble. Or prepare for a war with our neighbors that we could never win.”

“We won the Mountain because they never thought we’d try once they had the Ark survivors on their side.” O glanced at Clarke.

“You mean my mother counted on me not going against her.”

“Not the point, but yes.”

Bellamy nodded. “What we need is a way to ensure that we have enough protection here once half our warriors and leaders are too far away to help. So we show strength here and diplomacy there.”

“That’s why we asked the six of you here. You’re the smartest most cunning people in this camp and we need to figure this out now. Octavia and I need to leave by dawn the day after tomorrow.”

“And we’ll be more likely to think of something the other tribes wouldn’t expect since we come from space, right?” Murphy asked. “I mean why else would you only ask Skaikru to this meeting? Nyko’s smart and Echo’s the best warrior we have now. Hell, I can think of a half dozen people in this village that outstrip the seven outsiders here when it comes to grounder wars.”

Bellamy smacked Murphy upside the back of his head, knocking into Clarke in the process. “You don’t have to be such an asshole about it.”

“We need him to be an asshole right now.” Octavia sighed. “We all need to think of the worst we can do to an invading army with almost no army of our own. We can’t play nice protecting this village, or they will take us out.”

“Landmines,” Raven said. “Between Monty, Alice, and Jasper they should be able to come up with a recipe for gunpowder. I can design the mechanics and if we get everyone working on it, we’ll have the place mined by the time we’d need them. But they won’t be enough by themselves.”

“I have a really bad idea,” Monty said without enthusiasm. “It would devastate anyone that didn’t know how to navigate through the field. And anyone within a fifteen meter radius wouldn’t survive either.”

“What’s the idea?” Alice asked.

As Monty explained, everyone there thought about their warriors who were as young as ten. That the armies that could come would have similar youths in their ranks. Clarke and Murphy were the only ones that didn’t seem to care. The decision made, the meeting adjourned and everyone left. Raven, Monty, and Alice needed to do their part first. Alice returned to her stern, stoic ways like a switch flipped. 

When Bellamy headed home, Clarke joined him while Murphy fetched Kevin from Moma’s. Before they made it home, Bellamy stopped and Clarke turned to look at him. “What?”

“What? How can you agree so easily to kill children. What happened to you?” 

“Those children would kill my child, our child, without blinking. They aren’t children. Not the way we think of them. The grounder kids are all just small grown ups, while the ones from the Mountain still have something the rest of us either lost or never had. Innocence.” 

Clarke’s matter of fact speech disturbed Bellamy. “And that makes you okay with this?”

“What do you want me to say? That I like this, so you can vilify me and act like your hands are clean? Or that I hate this, but can’t think of any other way, so you can hold me and be my savior? Well it’s not that simple and nothing ever works out the way we think it will. There are no villains or heroes. We’re just trying to carve out some kind of life. Enjoy what we can and live to see the next day. So what happened to me is that I learned to embrace that I’m a bigger badder monster than the other monsters. And that’s a good thing. It might even keep us alive.”

When she tried to turn and go home, Bellamy grabbed her arm, too angry to just let it go. “Do really think that a monster is what Kevin needs for a parent?”

With gentle fingers, Clarke removed Bell’s hand. “Then I’ll stay somewhere else. Most kids have no more than two parents.”

He watched her walk away, disbelieving that she’d do that. Leave him and Kevin. He squeezed his eyes closed tight and hoped against hope that she’d come around. Murphy would follow her for sure, but Bellamy couldn’t afford to lose both of them. After getting inside, Bellamy lit a few lanterns and waited for Kevin and Murphy to get home. It took a lot longer than he expected. 

When the door finally opened he could see Kevin’s red rimmed eyes filled with tears. “What’s wrong?”

“He heard enough of you and Clarke arguing that getting him home meant finding Clarke first so he could give her a hug and kiss and tell her you were wrong.” Murphy said as he ushered their son in and closed the door.

“Mommy’s not a monster!” Kevin shouted as he scurried up the ladder to his loft bed.

With a hiss, Murphy whispered to Bellamy. “Moma’s is on the way back. How long did you think it’d take me to get Kevin? And did it escape your attention that you were yelling by the end?”

“I didn’t…”

“Think? I noticed.” 

“Let’s get some sleep, okay?” Bellamy said, needing it more than ever.

“Whatever.” Murphy pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it toward the sink. After he kicked his boots off, he climbed up to the loft to comfort Kevin whose wailing hadn’t let up yet.

Sitting on the bed they’d made special for the three of them, Bellamy felt alone for the first time since before his first night in Shaw. He ran his fingers through hair longer than he’d ever worn it. A reminder of how much time had passed. The Mountain Men had been dead for almost a whole season. The frozen winter had gone, at least outside.


	14. Chapter 14

Not knowing where else to go, Clarke knocked on Raven’s door. As the only person in Shaw living by herself, Raven had the room to accommodate a guest, but the sneer on Raven’s face made her wonder if there weren’t somewhere she could’ve gone.

“What do you want, Clarke?”

“I need a place to stay. Got any ideas? You built this village, and fisa house is full up, so I was hoping you’d point me to where I could sleep tonight.”

“I have two rooms. O said I’d need them since this doubles as my workshop, but I never use the other room.” She turned and pointed to a door. “It’s back there.”

It appeared to be an invitation, so Clarke walked in and closed the door behind her. “Wow, I didn’t know you had all this.” The walls were covered with hooks and shelves containing everything from metal and plastic to schematics and tools. A cot in the corner told her that Raven hadn’t lied when she said she didn’t use the other room. 

“Someone has to keep this place running.” Raven sat at a table cluttered with small pieces of steel and finished schematics for landmines. 

“Looks like you’ve been working on landmines for a while now.” 

“Yeah, well, they’re tricky. If I didn’t have complete working designs for them, the suggestion wouldn’t have helped anyone.” Raven tinkered with the parts. “No offense but I have to get this modified to work with Monty’s formula.”

“Okay. I’ll see you in the morning.” Clarke opened the door to the back room, but Raven stopped her.

“Do you even feel bad?”

Without turning around, Clarke said, “No.”

“You’re a real piece of shit, Clarke. All those people you killed. The Mountain Men, the other Ark survivors, the reapers, Finn. You tased him and punctured his carotid while he couldn’t move and was terrified. What I wouldn’t do to wipe you off the planet?” Raven sounded so incensed that Clarke turned to face her.

She found a sharp pick and offered the hilt to Raven. “Then wipe me off the planet. I won’t stop you.”

Instead of taking the weapon, Raven punched Clarke in the mouth, splitting both lips. Blood spurted into Raven’s face. 

The blood and pain didn’t affect Clarke the way Raven wanted. “Feel better?”

“No.” Raven turned away again as she used her sleeve to clean her face. “Go to bed.”

Clarke left Raven to her frustration and tears. Sleep came easy for Clarke, lulled by the throbbing of her cut lips.

* * *

The routine changed little despite missing a family member. Clarke staying with Raven meant nothing other than less food getting used on the practical end. But tensions ran high between Kevin and Bellamy. Kevin calmed down when Clarke told him that Daddy Bell wasn’t the bad guy in this. That he’d been trying to protect the boy.

“But I don’t need protected from you, Mommy.” He wrapped his arms around her neck and it took Murphy bribing him with a toy for him to release her. 

At home, the men woke up with the sun. They cooked, ate, washed up and got dressed then went to work, or in Kevin’s case, lessons. 

Octavia, Lincoln, and their guards had left the day before and by now had reached the point of not making it back in time to save them if their defenses didn’t hold. 

The last of the landmines were planted, and guards and scouts patrolled at all hours. 

“You should take Kevin to see Clarke.” Murphy packed Kevin’s bag. “You should spend time with her too.”

Bell laughed short and disdainful. “Excuse me but weren’t you the guy that ignored her for weeks?”

“Yeah, but I’m an asshole. You might put on a good show of it, but that isn’t you.” Murphy hit Bellamy in the chest with the bag.

“She’s not who I thought she was, now drop it.” 

“No. You’re the jackass that expected her to be like you. Everybody thinks everyone like them deep inside. That any discrepancies are just surface bullshit that doesn’t matter, and I hate to bear bad news, but most people are exactly what the seem. You just have to pay attention.”

“But Clarke is like you.”

“It’d be nice, but that’s not likely.” Murphy sniffed and wiped under his nose with his sleeve. “I’d love to have someone that understood me, but Clarke just shut down after everything she’s been through and had to do whether by choice or on instinct. I gave her an easy way out for a while. Allowed her to color her memories with how she numb she is right now. She’ll let the feelings back in when she’s ready. Now stop being a dick and go talk to her.”

“And I think everything you just said is just you trying to get me to play the game by your rules.” Bellamy called Kevin since he didn’t see him right away when he opened the door.

Kevin ran up and attached himself to Bellamy’s leg. “Take me to Mommy, Papa Bell!”

“If you won’t listen to me, listen to your son.” Murphy shrugged and walked off toward Raven’s place to see Clarke. He noticed that his family wasn’t behind him. He didn’t even knock on the door and ignored Raven beating him with one hand while she held a towel over her bare chest with the other. When he got in the back room he tossed himself on the bed next to Clarke. “Hi, honey, I’m home! Isn’t that what they used to say?”

“Fucking prick!” Raven slammed the door he hadn’t bother to shut. 

Clarke raised an eyebrow at Murphy’s wide smile. “I have to live with her you know. And every time you walk in like you live here, she bitches at me for hours later. Last night I wanted to knock her unconscious so I could sleep off the chemical headache I got making a new batch of meds with Monty and Alice.”

“Fine. I’ll knock. But you’re ruining my fun. She’s so easy to get a rise out of.” Murphy played with the hair on the side of Clarke’s face before leaning in and kissing her temple and across her jaw.

She pushed him away. “Not this week. I doubt Raven wants us painting her bed scarlet.”

“But you usually love that cause it eases your cramps.” He thought about kissing her again not to go anywhere else, but he wouldn’t push. 

“I know.” Clarke whined. “Tell me Bell’s coming around.”

“I’m working on it. You know I’ll get him to, it’ll take figuring out the right thing to say. He’s difficult. I can’t bully him, and he’s harder to manipulate. Though I have to say, I’ve never tried manipulating anyone to make them do the decent thing. You guys have ruined me.” He let his head drop to the mat. “Can I at least get a decent kiss to tide me over?”

She smiled and leaned in close. “Just a little one.” She kissed him with a closed mouth but for a stretch indicative of their more passionate ones.

“Hmm, you should kiss me that way more often. Makes me have to use my imagination. Consider what I’ll do next time.”

“Get Bellamy to invite me home and you could get me to do almost anything.” She rolled off the bed. “Time for us to get to work.”

They hadn’t even gotten the door when screams shattered their peace. Murphy and Clarke saw their village panicking, rushing out with foreign warriors chasing them. They were running out of the village and in their haste they were tripping landmines. “How’d they get past the mines?”

In the distance, was their son. “Kevin!” But he didn’t hear her and sprinted off. She chased after him, Murphy right next to her as they kept screaming his name. Kevin was less than five feet away from where the mines were, and John needed to catch up by two to save him, but an arrow pierced Kevin’s chest but Murphy caught him before he hit the ground. They dodged the mines and didn’t stop running until they heard Bellamy shouting for Kevin. Murphy handed Kevin over to Clarke, so he could get Bell.


	15. Chapter 15

Laying Kevin on the ground, Clarke put her ear to his chest. Nothing. She felt for a pulse and again found nothing. Fingers under his nose, and when there was no breath there either, Clarke wailed mouth pressed near the arrow blood smearing on her face. She couldn’t let anyone know where they were. Kevin deserved a funeral, a proper one. She broke the end of the shaft off and pulled the rest through using the broadhead sticking out of Kevin’s back. Her wails wracking her body though silent while she held her son. All the undealt with pain hit her at once, but nothing overshadowed this. 

She cradled his head on her shoulder as she tried to quiet her gasps for air in the crook of his neck. Through the pools in her eyes, she saw a person nearby. As they limped closer, she heard Anya’s curt but low voice.

“I found another survivor.”

“My son.” Clarke’s weeping increased. “Anya, my son.”

Anya pulled Clarke and Kevin into her embrace as others emerged from the trees. Indra, Tris, and a few Clarke didn’t know. The last to arrive where Murphy and Bellamy. Anya let Bellamy replace her, and he was too choked up to make any noise. Bellamy’s arms clutched Clarke and Kevin, and they would have stayed that way, but Murphy touched both Bellamy and Clarke’s faces.

“We need to go. The village fell. Tris will get us to safety while the rest try to find other survivors.”

Murphy took Kevin’s body so that Clarke and Bellamy could flank him as they left their latest home behind and followed Tris to their future.

* * *

Anya watched Clarke and Bellamy grieve together over their son as she wanted to do nothing but be the one to comfort Clarke. From where she stood it looked as though Clarke, Bellamy, and Murphy were married. While no longer part of the Trigedaskru, Anya still respected the institution. But it made her think twice about accepting them into her new tribe. None of them minded that her tribe consisted mostly of banishment survivors. Anya’s injury left her gait uneven. While she made the decisions for this nomadic tribe, she was no longer a warrior. 

Keeping them was a decision she didn’t know if she made with her head or her heart.Perhaps it was both. Clarke and her medical skills were needed. And Murphy and Bellamy were as skilled as any native hunters and warriors. But she knew part of her wanted to keep Clarke close even if another wanted to save herself the heartache of having her so near while unable to touch.

Most of the Shaw refugees were grieving. Nyko, Echo, Monty, and Raven were the only other survivors they knew. 

She stiffened when Bellamy approached her. “What do you want?”

“To go after Lincoln and my sister. Your scouts just caught up to us and they say they’re being held by the other tribe leaders in NoMa.” Bellamy knelt in front of her. “It’s a trap, I know, but I can’t leave them there. They’re family and I’ve lost too much family already. Don’t let me lose them too. I’m begging you to help me plan and execute a stealth rescue. Please, I’ll do anything.”

“Let me talk to my scouts and Indra.”

Bellamy nodded and returned to the tent he shared with Murphy and Clarke. “What did she say?”

With a sigh, Bellamy curled on the mat between them, facing Clarke. “That she needed to talk to her scouts and Indra first.”

Clarke nodded and closed her eyes. Murphy tilted his head toward outside when Bellamy looked at him. “We’ll be right back, okay Clarke?” Murphy asked as Bellamy backed out, her reply another nod.

Once they were far enough away from everyone, Bellamy sounding worn asked, “What?”

“Have you seen the way Clarke looks at Anya?” Murphy asked leaning his shoulder against a tree.

“I’m not blind. I know Clarke misses Anya, but she told me she wasn’t leaving us for her. Said she’d made a promise to us somewhere along the way.” Bellamy leaned his back against the same tree so he didn’t have to look at Murphy.

“I think if you let Clarke out of that promise, it’ll go a long way to convincing Anya to risk her few soldiers to save your sister.”

It pissed Bellamy off so much that he swung around and punched Murphy in the face. “You’re such a fucking bastard.”

When Murphy recovered he shoved Bellamy to the ground. “Then do it for Clarke. And never hit me when it isn’t foreplay ever again.”

Before John got too far, Bellamy got to his feet and grabbed his arm. “Who said it wasn’t foreplay?”

“Now who’s the bastard?”

Bellamy rested his forehead against Murphy’s temple. “I need to be touched. Not out of misguided loyalty or pity.”

Grabbing Bell’s shoulder, Murphy pulled him around and kissed him. Nipping at Bellamy’s lips and then sucking his tongue. Fingers dug into each other between removing bits of clothing. Bellamy pushed Murphy against a tree and held him there at arm’s length for a moment. “This is the last time I’ll expect something from anyone. After this, I won’t assume a damn thing. But please I can’t handle pain right now.”

Murphy nodded and then dragged Bellamy in for another kiss, this time softer than his norm. He could give Bellamy gentle just this once. This time their sex included no wounds. He tried his best to feel something more for Bellamy. Something other than respect and lust.

* * *

When the two of them walked back into camp, Anya summoned Bellamy to her.

“My scouts overheard the leaders talking. They said that if no one fell into their trap, they’d let Octavia and Lincoln pick a tribe to join. Given they’ve been told there were no survivors in Shaw, they’ll agree. Your best chance at getting them back is to wait until they’re released to another tribe. They’ll defect and join us if they see there were survivors.” Anya limped to the back of her cart to sit. “Is that agreeable?”

“I know Octavia wouldn’t have a problem with this tribe. But what about Lincoln? I know how Trigedaskru treat mutants. O might stay with him if he won’t come.” He sat next to Anya.

“Think about what you just asked. Do you really think Lincoln would have any issues with my tribe members?” She did not sound happy.

“You’ve got a point. And they both would appreciate that we aren’t risking anyone’s life to rescue them when there’s another way.” Bellamy sighed. “I just don’t like to think of her grieving for me for no reason.”

“Think how happy she’ll be when you’re reunited then.” Anya’s gaze wandered over to where Clarke stood talking to Murphy and Echo. “And how proud she’ll be of you learning the value of life. How proud she’ll be of us. Some heartache is worth it don’t you agree?”

“I do.” Bellamy also looked at Clarke. “I want Clarke to be happy too. She thinks she’s made this exclusive promise to Murphy and me. But she’s been in love with you since your first non-threatening conversation. I’m going to tell her she should be with the person she loves.”

Anya raised her eyebrow and glanced at him. “I’ll try to set aside my jealousy and let her decide if she wants to be with you two, me, or all of us. But I have no interest in men, so I won’t be joining your relationship, even if you found me attractive. The decision should be hers. And I’m glad you put her happiness before your own.”

Bellamy laughed for the first time since Kevin died. “You just made a joke. You didn’t hurt yourself did you?”

“I found killing and death stole my humor away. It’s returning.” Anya smiled. “Go talk to Clarke.”

She watched him approach Clarke, and then the two of them walk away.

Murphy drew near to Anya. “Did you need something?” she asked.

“Just want to confirm a theory.” He leaned on her cart. “My theory is that you and Bellamy agreed to absolve Clarke of any promises she’s made to any of us. That she should be with whoever she wants whenever she wants.”

“For someone who feels nothing you understand other people too well.” Anya looked up at him. “You’re space. Beautiful but dangerous.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment. But I don’t live in a vacuum, and none of us live in space. Our dangers are on the ground. I have to think of others and their wants to get what I want.” Murphy shrugged.

“Thorns on pretty flowers, oh such loving wounds we’ll bear.” Anya mused as she saw Clarke and Bellamy return and head their way.


End file.
